Man, This is Fucked Up!
by AngelAznDiva
Summary: Team 7 with a Twist: Naruto has been the ANBU Commander since 8. He's being sent to the Academy as a punishment for a prank, while still being the ANBU Commander. Meanwhile, Kakashi lateness goes too far and is demoted to Genin. Watch what would happen when Naruto is the Sensei and Kakashi is forced to be a Genin of that group. Powerful!Naruto but still Silly. Full Summary Inside.
1. Man This is Fucked Up!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any, way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.**

 **Thanks to Serena24 for beta-ing!**

* * *

 **SUMMARY : At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonini at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains he mask of the Kitsune. When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captainbdue t his excellent record and strenth. At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he take a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7. **

**Team 7's registry is now:**

 **Sensei : **

**Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)**

 **Subordinate (Minions) : **

**Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)**

 **Haruno Sakura (Genin)**

 **Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1 – MAN, THIS IS FUCKED UP!**

* * *

 **Hokage Tower**

The Sandaime entered his office and sighed. It was orange. Everywhere he looked was orange. The only things that weren't orange were the paperwork, which he thanked the heaven that was spared or else there would be more paperwork. But the fact that it was ORANGE could only mean one thing. And that thing is that his ANBU Commander got bored again. As he went to his chair, ignoring the orange wall, he noticed something was missing. His Icha Icha book that he kept hidden underneath the desk. Oh, it was on. This time he cannot dismiss it like all the other pranks. Nobody touches his precious.

"KITSUNE! GET IN HERE BEFORE I CASTRATE YOU!" yelled Hiruzen.

Hearing the murder in his voice I quickly flashed in and tried to appear sheepish.

"WHERE ARE MY BOOKS!" said a murderous Hokage.

"W-w-well, you s-see, Dolphin dared me to and well…. Ikindaburnedthebooks", I said very, very nervously. Instead of feeling like the ANBU Commander that I am, I started to feel exactly how old I was, which is 8.

"You what?!" hissed Hiruzen.

"I kinda burned the bo-" I started to repeat.

"I heard you the first time" was hissed out of his Hokage that, if he didn't know better, he would have been mistaken what was said as snake language. Oh, but the Hokage was not done, oh no, not by a long shot. This time this had gone too far. But since Naruto was too bored and had too much energy that he couldn't sleep much and got into mischief at night and day, he'll have to remedy that. Oh, and does he have a remedy.

"Naruto," Hiruzen said very sweetly.

Oh shit. Jiji was beyond pissed. "Y-y-yes?" I meekly asked.

"Since you have so much time and energy, I've decided maybe you need to up your training. I believe you currently only have 500 or so pounds on you right now. Let's up it to, say, 1000 lbs. Oh, and to help you even more, let's also double the level of your resistance seal. Let's see, what else, oh yes, unless you're fighting your chakra is to remain bound unless given permission."

I sighed. I thought I would have a much worst punishment like being pulled as the ANBU Commander even though I was perfect for the job. But apparently I was relieved far too soon it seems because Hiruzen was not finished with me.

"That was only for the energy part. Now, for the time part. I can't force you to sleep seeing how you're both an Uzumaki and a Jinchuriki. The energy from being a Uzumaki alone would have you only sleeping for five hour at max but seeing how you're both and you only need one hour of sleep, you'll be going to the Academy. As a student." Said a very, very satisfied Hokage.

"What?! I'm being demoted all the way back to the Academy?!" I yelled disgracefully.

"No, that's just where you'll be during the day when you're not doing your job as the ANBU Commander. Since you're _obviously_ bored, you can play at the Academy during the day. One year for every book you burned. Oh! It seemed you burned three. Congratulations! You are now an Academy student for three years! So it seems like you'll be 'failing' the first two times! I sure hope your acting is up to par since no one can know you're a ninja so you'll have to act like a 'dope' since you are to 'fail' the first two times in order to complete your punishment. And seeing how I can't send one of my _talented_ ninja into enemy territory alone, tell Dolphin that his next assignment during the daytime would be to pretend to be your Academy Instructor", smirked the stupid Old Man.

'Okay, on one hand, I was still the ANBU Commander, which was a position I worked my ass off to get, and on the other hand, I was also an Academy student. Oh man, I was going to get laughed at. The ANBU _Commander_ , not a regular ANBU, or even an ANBU Captain, but ANBU _Commander_ is being sent back to the Academy. Oh the humiliation. It was bad enough to be so short that no me can take me seriously until I beat each and every one up and then sent them to my version of training. But now I was STILL short but ALSO going the Academy. I'll never hear the end it. I just know it.'

"I have a question about the 'mission' that is being assigned to me. While on the surface is seems like a horrible, horrible punishment. The fact that you're also sending in Dolphin means we're expecting hostility somewhere" I immediately switched to what my subordinate call "The Commander" mode.

"Sigh. That is correct. There are several sabotage that have been found but that fact it was several means someone is trying to limit the amount of ninja coming out of the Academy. I want you to see what's missing and also when you have your 'time-out' which I know some of the other Academy teachers would want to make sure you don't graduate. I want you to observe each and every Instructor and see which one of them is sabotaging my ninja! The future of Konoha!" It wasn't the first time the tired Hokage was surprised by what Naruto picked up from a few sentences. Sometimes Naruto was far too smart for his own good.

"I understand my order Hokage-jiji. I will accept this 'mission" I bowed to the Hokage while muttering, "oh course my _punishment_ is a mission. Since I didn't do anything wrong per-se, I get this _lovely_ mission because I listen to Dolphin. Hehehehe… he's my Academy _Instructor_ eh. I'll use this to _train_ him in patience." Naruto started to cackle like a maniac. Everyone who heard suddenly felt sorry for Dolphin. Oh well, better him than them.

 _Into the break room, where the ANBU's rest when they had down time, an ANBU with a Dolphin mask shivered._

* * *

 **ANBU Commander Meeting Room**

As everyone entered right on time, I sighed. I just knew I'll get laughed at. Sigh well, can't put it off for long.

Seeing the solemn look on their Commander caused some to the conclusion that one of their precious comrade had died but a quick look around confirmed that everyone was there. That would mean he was being dismissed and they started to think of a way to get their Commander back. Not only was he responsible, he can beat all of them down even when they came at him with his weights and resistant seal on, but he was also their sunshine in this dark world that they lived in.

As the ANBU were beginning to mutter and some of them even getting angry, a massive wave of killing intent hit them. While it was easy to forget that Naruto was boss since he only treated them like friends, it was their Commander Kitsune, not their sunshine Naruto, which was standing in front of them. And suddenly, everything was quiet. That's better.

"Okay. I have NO clue whatsoever why you started acting like a mob when you saw me but since I'm bored and you guys are _clearly_ challenging me, let's rumble. Meet me in the training field S in one minute" he said as he could do with some stress relief but at the same time this would remind exactly why he was the ANBU Commander at the age of 8. He's killing three birds with one stone, he gets his stressed relieved, he shows he's top dog, AND they get a remedial lesson. He couldn't have planned it better.

* * *

 **ANBU Training Field S**

Training Field S (S for screwed) was a training field that was used to practice invasion, large ambush, or even war. It was a whole square mile of different kind of terrain. The fight was embarrassingly quick. There had been over 300 of them but they were swat down like they were flies as they rushed to engage the Commander in taijutu. They had tried to form a team and formation to beat him but it appears that their Commander got bored of waiting. And now Dolphin was running and hiding in some bushes like a scared little kid because he saw _that_ grin that spelled nothing but trouble and he was looking right at him.

"Due to taking some _advice_ from Dolphin, I destroyed three of the Icha Icha books that belong to Jiji. So as punishment, for every book I destroyed I'm going to be at the Academy pretending to be stupid. You, my dear Dolphin, will be my teacher for that period of time. Don't worry, I'll still be the ANBU Commander at the same time since the darn Old Man said I have too much time, which I can't deny but that's a moot point. And since you'll be technically active I shall make sure to _train_ you very well while I'm in your care." I said with a less than amused tone as I stood at the edge of the destroyed training ground.

There was shock. Their sunshine was being demoted to an Academy student? And for three years, too, which meant he'll have to 'fail' to graduate. Their Commander is going to be an Academy student that 'failed' two times. It started out slow, a chuckle here, and suddenly every ANBU was laughing.

'Oh, that's it. Laugh at me would you. I'll give you _something_ to laugh at.' I summoned a clone for each member and immediately paralyzed them and sent another one to fetch Gai and his newly acquired clone, Lee. Then set out to washing and dyeing their hair in Bright Orange. As I heard Gai and Lee arrived, I quickly changed into my ANBU gear. I positioned them so they can both be easily seen. 'Let's see them laugh at me after they sit there for an hour watching that weird Genjustu that only Lee and Gai seem to be able to make'

"Gai! Lee! Welcome. It seems my _dear_ subordinates here are bored while they wait for their hair to finish dyeing so it can be washed out. And since they absolutely love the youthfulness between you two, they asked if you can do that until the dyeing is finished, so they may try themselves. Oh, and since they admire you so much, they were wondering if they can also have one of your jumpsuit. It's just so youthful. I will, of course pay you for your time and the jumpsuits." I said in a straight voice.

"OH! OF COURSE KITSUNE! I WILL TEACH THEM ALL ABOUT YOUTHFULNESS! I JUST GOT A SHIPMENT OF THESE JUMPSUITS SO THEY ARE WELCOME TO IT! THERE IS NO PAYMENT NEEDED FOR I WILL BE SPREADING YOUTH!" Gai yelled excitement.

"GAI-SENSEI! YOU ARE SO YOUTHFUL!" screamed Lee.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

And that is my cue to go! Replacing my Kage Bushin with a Mizu Bushin since I have no desire to have any memory of seeing this. I told my Bunshin to make sure they are watching with the Eye's Open Justus that they use in the interrogation and keep those Green Creatures doing that thing they do. I'm going to come back in an hour seeing how I didn't sleep last night.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

I ran like there was no tomorrow chuckling when I remembered the horror on their face when they realized what I had planned. Good thing I paralyzed their voice box too else the village would have heard screams and think they were under attack. I made just as many clones as ANBU that I had under may command and one Blood Clone and order them to do what those ANBU were supposed to be doing if they hadn't laughed and one to guard my door while I slept.

* * *

 **Hokage Office:**

Six Naruto blurred into the office and into the areas that they were supposed to be.

"Kitsune, not that I don't love you, but why are there six of you in my room instead of Cat, Rabbit, Monkey, Boar, Pig, and Rat?" questioned the Hokage cautiously, seeing as he knows that Naruto was still upset with him.

"Oh, don't worry Jiji, my subordinates are just doing some remedial training since I saw a flaw that must be corrected right away. They shall return in about an hour or so. Until then, I am your guard. They're all Kage Bushin except me, I'm a Blood Clone since you're so important." Said the clone that was right behind the Hokage.

"Ok-ay… are you going to be standing next to me the whole time?" said the Hiruzen, uncomfortably aware that the person who surpassed his strength and would have been named Kage now if it wasn't for the fact that the person was needed somewhere else and that he was 8.

"Don't worry too much. I promise no prank on you while I'm here this time. This is just a guard duty." Said the clone that was STILL looking over the Hokage shoulder at the paperwork.

Hiruzen sighed and continued his work. About 7 minutes into the guard shift, there was 5 Naruto walking everywhere, including the walls and ceiling while one continued to read over his shoulder. Hiruzen sighed again. This was looking to be a long hour.

One Hour Later – ANBU Training Field S

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"If I can't do 1000 jumping jacks, I will run around Konoha 15 time!" I heard Lee shout!

Deeming it safe to come out with my sanity intact, I quickly made over to the both of them. "Thank you for doing this for them. I'm _sure_ that they would never forget it. Since they can only spare an hour, do you think you can give them the jumpsuit now so they may get back to work?" I quickly interrupted before they could get started.

"OH! HOW YOUTHFUL OF THEM TO WANT TO WORK SO HARD. OF COURSE, HERE ARE THE JUMPSUITS AND LEE AND I WILL GET OUT OF THE WAY! THANK YOU FOR THIS MOST YOUTHFUL EXPERIENCE!" yelled Gai as he and Lee sped off to who knew where.

I quickly dismissed the Mizu Bushin and replaced them with Kage Bushin since he would have to put a seal on them to keep them from taking it off for more than an hour before it re-appears on them. I summoned Anko to deal with the women while the guys were dressed.

Anko appeared really quickly but then again, she gets to torture people. When she got to the field, she could only look on in horror for about 5 seconds before she realized what was happening and promptly fell down laughing. After getting it out of her system, she happily went about dressing the females of the ANBU. As soon as they were all dressed, my Kage Bushin slapped a seal on it that will last a whole week. What they don't know is that it was also a storage seal that was invisible that I can activate at any time to return them to this outfit. Then I set them free with instruction to go back to where they were supposed to be. I was chuckling the whole time I walked back to my office to check for any paperwork that might have come in while I was out. Tomorrow I start in the Academy. Man, This is Fucked Up!

* * *

 **A/N: Please Read and Review! Any suggestions, comments, flames, and/or critique would be welcome immensely. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Academy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any, way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.**

 **Thanks to Serena24 for beta-ing!**

* * *

 **SUMMARY : At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonini at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains he mask of the Kitsune. ****When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captainbdue t his excellent record and strenth.** **At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he take a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.**

 **Team 7's registry is now:**

 **Sensei : **

**Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)**

 **Subordinate (Minions) : **

**Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)**

 **Haruno Sakura (Genin)**

 **Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2 - ACADEMY**

* * *

 **Academy**

" **MMMM….. *YAWN*….. THAT WAS A GOOD NAP. WHAT DID I MISS KIT? ANYTHING INTERESTING?"** Kurama asked me before looking around. **"WHY ARE WE IN THE ACADEMY DRESSED LIKE THIS?"** As I continue down the hallway to my 'classroom'.

"…."

" **SIGH…. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?"** Kurama was resigned to ask.

"I might have, maybe, burned some books that Jiji was really attached to and now I have to double the weights and resistance. I also have to go to the Academy for one year for every book that I burned. I burned 3. I also have to stay as the ANBU Commander at the same time." I replied back.

" **SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, THE ANBU COMMANDER HAS TO GO TO BACK TO THE ACADEMY AND 'FAIL' TWO TIMES AT THAT…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** roared Kurama. Sensing that I would get no sympathy from him I shut off the connection.

When I got to my classroom door, Dolphin, or Iruka-sensei, was waiting for me. He was the only one I spared from the green jumpsuit since he didn't laugh. We both stood facing the door and took a deep breath. It was time to face the music.

* * *

 **Time Skip - Three Years Later**

* * *

 **Morning before the Last Day of Naruto's Punishment**

Being in orange, slow due to more weights and resistance being added when I got used to the old ones, and having next to no chakra, gave me some new found stealth. As the years went by, the newer recruits weren't privy to my persona and identity so for each prank I did, I was chased. Since I will be graduating tomorrow and throw this persona away, I decided to do one major prank. I took some paint and headed to the Hokage monument and gave it a make-over. I had three reasons for doing this. One, I needed an excuse to have been absent in class since I was busy with my Commander duties regarding the last spy at the Academy. Two, it helps my stealth. Three, revenge for putting me in the Academy.

I laughed as I watch the new recruits try to catch me and sped away from where I've hidden in the wall. Dolphin found me and made a scene for the passerby before he walked with me back to the Academy laughing the whole time since for Jiji I have painted an Icha Icha book with him reading and having a massive nosebleed.

* * *

 **Academy / Hokage Monument**

When we got back to class, I was 'punished' and so was the class with the reasoning that I was the cause. We were asked to do a Henge. Oh, I did a Henge alright, I showed him Oiroke no Jutsu, which I had created on the fly since he didn't specified what to Henge to. The result, marvelous.

With the need to show disciplinary action, Dolphin was forced to force me clean the monument, manually. With nothing else to do, I did just that until it was 6pm and I could use my chakra again and just use a light water jutsu.

"Wanna go for ramen? My treat for that great painting you did and we need to finalize the plan." Dolphin asked.

Always up for ramen I quickly agreed and headed to Ichiraku. We chattered about inane stuff and me graduating while we used the ANBU signs to finalize the plan.

 _I think I should 'fail' this time too. It'll give Mizuki a reason to approach me. It's not like I'll be at the Academy whether or not I pass since my sentence is over._

 _Are you sure? I know how much it hurt your pride when you have to 'fail'_

 _Yeah, it's fine. Those bastard that forgot what happened had the jumpsuit for 2 month and I had them with Lee and Gai for a whole day. They came crawling back begging for forgiveness. They will also be doing some D-ranks too._

 _Wow. How someone could forget that lesson is beyond me. I'm still traumatized whenever I see a flash of green and I didn't have to wear the jumpsuit._

 _I really should implement it to the TI department._

With the plan finalized and we finished eating he headed home while I made a clone to head home when no one was looking. I headed towards the ANBU Building, not bothering to change into my Commander outfit since it was a moot point when I'll be no longer need the secrecy since I was 11 instead of 8. Apparently, being double digit instead of a single digit means I can now take over as Hokage since there was a random rule that says that. Am I going to? Hell no! Not unless I had to. I only sprouted off the whole, "I'm going to be Hokage" shit for my persona. If it's one thing I learned as an ANBU Commander, it was that I hate paperwork. Sure I got them done since I got too much time on my hands even with the Academy, but that doesn't mean I LIKED the damn things. I'd rather play with my seals.

As I walked into one of the hidden entrance which was a Market that catered to shinobis, I got a nod from one of the hidden workers and continued to the back. Walking towards the elevator I discarded the orange jumpsuit. Sure I like orange but even that was too much and it was hot. Unfortunately, if I didn't wear it then everyone would see my muscles. Typing in the code and giving a blood sample, the elevator started going down. I gave myself a quick look over to make sure nothing from my other persona was left. I was now wearing a black shirt and a single orange strip going across my chest and the Uzumaki and Namikaze symbol on my back.

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarter - Auditorium**

I headed towards the auditorium where I had the newer recruits gather. It was time for the revealing. As I headed there, someone cried out that the "Orange Demon" was there and suddenly I was surrounded.

"Sigh…. Do we really need to do this?" I asked, tired since I didn't sleep for almost a week since I wanted to make sure I got all the spies.

"What do you mean 'Do we really need to do this'?! Why you cheeky little brat!" said the one subordinate that was dumb enough to be late and apparently dumb enough to try and slap me.

Slapping him awake like he was a fly without the use of chakra, which at this point he might as well be, due to the fact that the old man kept increasing my weights and resistance till now it was 6 times more than when what he started me on. It's only the fact that I have seals on me to make me lighter to my surrounding that I don't create a crater with each step.

Seeing me harm a comrade with what they believed to be impossible strength for the me they knew, everyone cried imposter and attacked. Oh and there goes the alarm. Oh, whatever, I don't care anymore. I just want to finish this and go home. Quickly knocking them all out in less than a second, I was about to summon some clones to help me tie them up and bring them into the auditorium, when the ANBUs posted for possible intruders came flying in with weapons without looking at the target. Now, I was starting to be annoyed, since these ones actually knew me. An "Oh crap" was heard before I just wave my hand to dismiss the weapons back with twice the speed to some non-lethal areas like the thigh. It'll hurt but won't kill you.

They stumbled for a second and got their footing back. Good, I don't have to retrain them in taking pain only to not leap before looking.

"Commander!" they all knelt.

"Oh get up you stupid idiots and tie up these other dumbass idiots that attacked me without me getting a word in. Bring them inside when you're done and line up so I can heal you idiots." with that said, I walked into the auditorium with a sigh. While not exhausted as most would be by this point, I wanted to sleep for at least an hour, which I won't be doing if I don't get this done.

In less than a minute they had tied up the 87 recruits that passed the 3 year mark to the auditorium and lined up in front of me. While I could be harsh in punishing them, they knew I cared too.

With the healing finished I gave them the option of staying or going back to the rest area, unsurprisingly, they stayed. Sigh… It seems like they missed me this whole week while I flushed the Academy for spies. Great, now they're like a bunch of puppy dogs.

Using a Suiton jutsu, I woke up my next victims…. I mean the newbies.

Thinking that the intruder-prevention caught me since they stood behind me, they gave a cheer that they caught the "Orange Demon". Oh, great, one of the worst thing to do while the older group is in what I called the "Eager Puppy Stage" was to insult me in any way. Despite the fact that I can beat them and need no protecting, they all have grown protective of me due to my age. I groaned, and pinched my nose since now the noise was beginning to rise and then I'll never get this done. I'll just come back later.

"You guys," I pointed to the older ANBU's, "get them to behave and come find me. Don't care how you do it but if there's a dead body you better dig two graves since you'll be going into the next one, and nothing permanent. I have more important things to do than this fuck-fest, like paperwork." At this sentence, I got some raised eyebrows. Apparently, my hatred of paperwork is old news. "I said important things to do, not things I LIKE to do. Goddamned paperwork" I ordered while I headed to the door and opened it. Great. Just Great. Apparently, everyone that isn't on duty, wanted to see the newbies surprised reaction and is now glaring at the new recruits. Starting to doubt the survival of the recruits, I made a blood clone to do the paper work and stayed. Deciding that it would take a few hours, I put up silencing seals, took out a futon and lay down to sleep.

I woke up 2 hours later. Apparently they weren't willing to wake me up and the old ANBU just formed a circle around me. Staring at me…. Great. Maybe it has been more than a week since it has now entered "Creepy Stage". Oh, that's right, I was checking on my spy network and sent in a blood clone for about a month. Somehow they can tell it was only a clone.

Sigh…. Now I have to desensitize them again.

* * *

 **Meanwhile at the Hokage Tower**

The Hokage was furious.

Forget furious, he was murderous.

Hatake Kakashi was late. Again. But this time he was late 15 hours and he was tired because he hadn't slept for 2 days.

When Kakashi finally showed up at 11 p.m. he snapped.

"Hatake Kakashi" he began and Kakashi knew he was in trouble since the Hokage never used his full name. "You are 15 hours late to your appointment. Since even Genins can show up on time, you are now demoted to Genin until your sensei deems otherwise. You will be meeting up at the Academy in 3 days at 1 p.m. to meet your teammates and your sensei. Now get the fuck out!"

Knowing that it was safer for his health not to complain to the Hokage at this time, since there was a high possibility he would be killed. Plus just _persuade_ his 'sensei' to just let him off for the next couple of months until the next Chunin Exam would be easier, he quickly exited the room. Deciding that he would be on time the first time since the Hokage had ordered it and he didn't want to get reported before he could talk to the, most likely, rookie jounin. With that plan in mind, he walked back to his apartment.

* * *

 **Back at the ANBU Headquarter**

When I _finally_ got them to back away, so I may stand up, I looked at the new recruits and grimaced. Sure they were alive and nothing permanent but it was hard to look at since these were the babies of our group. While I don't cuddle them, I couldn't stand seeing them hurt. Or any of the ANBU in fact. Yes, I know that there's death in this field but when each death occur I would go out to find the ones responsible. Hence my moniker "Bloody Kitsune".

Sigh…. I should start to heal them. Before I got to them I asked them what they told the new recruits and the answer I got was, "Nothing. Just that they shouldn't insult you. We won't betray you by telling them who you are."

Great. The new recruits probably though I was Kurama and that he possessed me and spellbound everyone. And I can't even ask Kurama for advice since he went to sleep a week ago and haven't been up since.

As I got near the new recruit I can smell their fear and knew I was probably right in my guess. Oh, whatever, I need to heal them.

When I got to the one I felt was the worst and knelt near him, the ANBU twitch. Ignoring that I started to heal. I could feel his emotions as I healed him. It went from fear, to confusion, to familiarity, to recognition, to shock, and then settled on ashamed. Which didn't surprised me at all since I have healed everyone at least once. Sighing, I cut his bind, patted his hair and moved to the next patient. As I healed each patient, I felt them go through the same emotions. Finally done with the last one, I moved back to the front.

"In case you haven't figured it out yet, but judging by the ashamed look on your face, you have, but just in case, I am the ANBU Commander. The last 3 years has been a punishment to me and also a way for me to test you and help you get better. Now it's late, so get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." I told them and watch them trop out like wounded puppies. Sigh. I'm a glorified babysitter, that's what I am. A glorified babysitter to a bunch of big dangerous babies.

I went back to my office and finished off my paperwork and handing assignments to the older ANBU since the newer ones are still recovering. By the time I finished I had to go to the Academy. Activating my seal for it to stop all but about .01% of my chakra, just enough to do the Academy's basic three, I headed to the last day of my punishment.

* * *

 **R &R PLEASE. EVEN FLAME. EVERY CRITICISM I GET WILL HELP ME WRITE. THANKS!**


	3. Unwilling Sensei

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any, way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.**

 **Thanks to Serena24 for beta-ing!**

* * *

 **SUMMARY : At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonini at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains he mask of the Kitsune. ****When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captainbdue t his excellent record and strenth.** **At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he take a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.**

 **Team 7's registry is now:**

 **Sensei : **

**Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)**

 **Subordinate (Minions) : **

**Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)**

 **Haruno Sakura (Genin)**

 **Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 3 – UNWILLING SENSEI**

* * *

 **Academy Testing Room :**

"Alright, Naruto, make a Bushin" Dolphin said to me, snickering.

Jackass. He knows that's the one thing I'm incapable of doing even with most of my chakra sealed up. I'm soooo going to assign him to be my eyes at the Academy when I'm done with this.

With a resigned sigh, I tried my best even though I knew how futile it was. My chakra is just way too dense. *POOF* I spared a look and yup, as I thought, it was a half dead clone. Sigh….

"FAIL!" Jackass (Dolphin) said. He better be enjoying this since he's going to be doing this for a loooooong time.

"Come on Iruka, he technically did make a clone." Traitor (most likely) said.

"You know I can't do that. He can't even make ONE clone (is that a snicker I hear?! Asshole, I was joking before but now it's SOOOO on!) and all the of others made at least 2 clones" Jackass said.

Hmmmm…. That actually gives me an idea. Maybe if I make a hundred clones with my chakra sealed up I can make a Bunshin. Then again, why would I make an illusion if I can easily make real ones. Oh well, time to act depressed and throw the bait out.

I waited around after class to see who passed and who didn't. It's always good to know who your potential recruits can be. Frowning as I hear the civilians muttering about how it was good that I didn't pass. If only they knew that I was the one organizing how to keep them safe. Oh well, they'll know soon enough since this farce is over and I'm now double digits. Strange thing to be proud of, sure, but it was the shackle that was finally released so I can be me.

"Naruto!" Muzuki called out to me. Ohhh! (Hook)

As I sit there listening to Muzuki give out his former friend's information about his past, I wonder if the TI would mind if I helped out with this one since it was also a betrayal of friends.

"Yeah, but I still wish I could've graduated" I muttered. (Line)

I noticed him glancing around and then acting friendly he said, "Actually, there's a special way to graduate. You just need to get this scroll and learn a jutsu there." (Oh! Sinker!)

Hmmm…. Now, for the hard decision… Should I just beat him up now or later. On one hand, I really, really need to beat him that I could barely stand it. But on the other hand, he might have an accomplice where he'll meet up later. Ohhh… my desire….. or protocol. I decided to just get it over with since with this I would be done. We can just interrogate him later for the rest of the information. Plus, no point in getting the darn scroll since I already know what's in it with a few of them of my own creation. Oh, and did I mention I get to drop my persona.

After I finished beating him up, I called to an ANBU with my commander tattoo, I decided to doodle on his face. * **Poof*** I turned to see an ANBU kneeling. Huh, one of the new ones then. Ordering for the guy to be dropped off at the TI department with a note saying I'll drop by to help later, I headed off to see Jiji.

* * *

 **Hokage Tower**

The Sandaime sat in front of his crystal ball and smirked. He had an excuse now to order Naruto to be Kakashi's sensei, the only person that Kakashi would listen to, besides himself. Of course, he could order him but he knew that he would just pawn them off to his subordinates.

As I appeared in the Hokage office, I felt a shiver go down my back as I watched the Hokage smirking. Feeling very much like a trapped mouse, I began my report while removing my persona's clothes as I talked. What? It's hot underneath them, since I have my ANBU gear underneath.

The Hokage was amused as he watched me change and report in a serious voice to him. I put my persona's clothes in a pile and set it on fire with a flick of my hand. Ahhh. Finally free!

"Good work, Kitsune. You've done a good job. Now, I noticed at the end that you didn't follow the protocol to the T. You know, we have them in place for a reason." Said the Old Man.

"What the hell are you talking about? The information can still be taken out of him with interrogation. You're smoking something, old man? Or are you going senile?" I cried out. He never nitpicked before. I got the job done in the end so what does it matter the process. He's scheming something.

"Be that way, but since you haven't followed the protocol, I believe a _punishment_ is required" he started to say as I groaned. "Since you're registered as a jounin I think I'll have you teach a team of genin. Plus, you could always use the company of kids your age."

I stared in horror at him. Was he serious? Because if he's serious, I would have to beat him up until he gets a different idea. Does he realized I was with those god damn brats for 3 years already and now I have to teach them for god knows how long until they reached the chuunin rank.

"Are you joking?" I asked just to make sure he was serious. As soon as he nodded I released all my restrictions and attacked. He might not know what hit him but he sure would feel it when he wakes up. Making sure that he's still alive, I looked around wondering why I wasn't stopped. Calling out to the ANBU I asked just that.

"Why didn't you stop me or try to help him?" I asked them.

"We figured he deserved it. We know you won't kill or maim him. Plus, he's taking you from us. AGAIN! Plus even if we did, what can we do?" said Cat.

Awww. Their loyalty to me warmed. Their loyalty to the Hokage, not so much. But oh well, they are still in the "Eager Puppy/Creepy Stage". I put the old man on the couch and stomped out toward the ANBU Headquarter. We're getting new recruits today so I need to get some things done.

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarters**

After entering through a different entrance this time, a dry cleaners, I headed towards my office to meet the new recruits. On the way there, I somehow picked up a couple puppies, I mean subordinates. Sigh, I really need to give them D-rank if they keep following me like this. But first thing first, ramen! Recruits can wait.

Turning into the cafeteria, I saw that it was almost full. Deciding to ignore them for ramen, I quickly order my regular 16 bowls and began to devour them and tried to sneak out. Nope, no such luck. With a quick threat of D-ranks if I was followed out the door, I was left alone. Knowing that would last maybe 5 minutes at most, I quickly headed towards my office.

On the way there, I noticed the new recruits getting the tour. Deciding to observe them as they took in their surroundings, I followed. With a quick shush motion to the guides, I followed behind.

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarters - My Office**

When we arrived to my office, I quickly released the seal and gestured to the guides to let them in. Since I already dismissed my clone while I was eating so I may process today's work while I ate, the recruits entered an empty office. The guide and me came in after them and shut the door. We just stood behind them underneath a shadow jutsu while they shuffled nervously.

Deciding to test their patience, I just stood behind them and waited. While we waited I was talking to the guides in ANBU signals. After getting their perspective of each recruit, which took about 30 minutes, I began to hear the recruits' gossip.

"Hey, do you have any idea who the Commander is?"

"I overheard that he's the devil and if you do anything wrong you get horrible punishments" (Yeah, I could see D-ranks as being horrible punishments to my puppies)

"I heard that he's been the Commander since the Founding of Konoha" (snort, where'd that come from)

"I heard the punishments are inhumane and will traumatize you" (ah, Gai's and Lee's punishment)

"I heard he could beat every one of the ANBUs by himself" (true but so could the Hokage)

"I heard he's the youngest ever to become a Commander and ANBU" (true and still is the youngest)

"I heard he'll come after you and chase you to the end of the earth is you hurt his precious people" (ah, my Bloody Kitsune moniker)

"I heard he's a midget" (that is soo not fair, I mean I am 11 for crying out loud) Hearing the snickers next to me, I decided I waited long enough.

"And I heard you guys were the new recruits and not some fisherman's wives who liked to gossip" I spoke up behind them. At this point you could literally feel the amusement off the two guides.

The recruits stiffen and remain silent as I walked towards my desk. You could tell as soon as I got into their view, as the confusion rolled off in waves. Taking my time, I looked over the recruits as they stood there watching. Deciding to play with them a little, I donned my dumbass persona.

"So, what you guys doing in the Commander's Office? Did you get in trouble? Are you going to go on a mission?" I asked childishly.

"Oh, it's just a brat. That scared me for a little bit. Thought it was the commander himself that heard us." Grunt 1 said.

Ignoring them for a bit as I looked over some paper work that I needed to fill and sign. Oh, and stamp too it seems. Now where's that dumb stamp. I started to look through the drawers for the stamp when I heard, "Hey! What are you doing going through our Commander's desk!" I look up and saw them all coming towards me with weapons to stop me from 'messing around'.

Well, it seems like I can start now. But before I can beat them back, they were suddenly surrounded by ANBU with weapons pointed at them. Huh, was I that detracted in looking for my stamps that I didn't notice 30 people coming in.

"Down puppies! No killing the new recruits!" I said. I saw them wondering if it was worth my displeasure if they did anyways and quickly said, "NOW!"

Grumbling, they fell in line behind me, glaring at the new recruits who are now very nervous with 30 ANBU pissed at them. Awww…. Cute, but annoying at times. Oh well, time to start since I've played around enough.

"As you can see, harming me, threatening to harm me, or even thinking about harming me is VERY bad for your health and continuing life." I pointed out to the recruits. "Now, let's get started. First, congratulations, you have been handpicked to join the ANBU. Second, I am the Commander Kitsune. Each of you have special skills you've mastered and skills you need refining. For the first 6 month we would be pounding these new skills into you. Then you would be given an evaluation to see if another 6 month is needed. During these times you will be required to live here. Look around you. In the ANBU we are family. These are your brothers and sisters. You will eat together, bathe together, and sleep together. You will also respect one another. We will be around to watch you, so any misconduct will be punished appropriately. As you were gossiping before, my punishments are VERY creative. Isn't that right guys?" I asked the group behind me. Seeing the shudder I smirked. "Any questions? No? Good." Completely ignoring the hands up, I continued. "Since these _wonderful_ ANBU behind me 'volunteered', they will be teaching you the rules, do's and don't, and locations of the training fields and entrance to the Headquarters."

"Hey! Since when did we volunteer?" Wolf asked indigently.

"When you guys came in when I told you not to disturb me" I replied deadpanned. "Now, shoo. I got work to do." Making a shooing motion. When nobody moved I got annoyed, "Oh, does that mean you guys want so spar? I do need to relieve some stress."

The 30 behind me never moved so fast. "Hey wait! Take your charges!" I called out behind them. My office have never been emptied that fast.

Finding my stamp, I quickly finished my paperwork and picked up my new students file. Noticing that one was extremely thicker than the others, I decided to start with that one first.

* * *

 **Name:** Hatake Kakashi

 **Rank:** Genin (until evaluation by sensei)

Huh? Say what?! How the hell did an A-rank nin almost S-rank be a genin? Since I know his skill, mission record since I've assigned them, and all that jazz, I skipped to the end to see what he last did since I KNOW he was a jounin just last week.

 **Comment:** Demotion due to lateness.

Ahhh….. right. That little habit of his. Okay, I can work with that. He'll be easy since I know he won't sassy back at me. Going to the next file, I couldn't help but groan.

 **Name:** Uchiha Sasuke

 **Rank:** Academy (waiting Genin test by new sensei)

Okay, that's all I need since I was in the same class. Next.

 **Name:** Haruno Sakura

 **Rank:** Academy (waiting Genin test by new sensei)

* * *

Oh say no more! Again, the same class. I debated on what to do. I have an Avenger, FanGirl, and an ex-ANBU to teach. Since I've been basically ordered to pass this group since Kakashi is in it, I decided to just skip the test. Now, should I train them like how the new recruits are trained or should I train them the way other teach them…..Decisions, decisions.

Hmmm…..oh look, a conveniently placed coin. I'll flip the coin, it's not like it's all that important, it's just their future we're talking about. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said it like that, now it just sounded horrible.

Moving on... Heads, they get training the ANBU style. Tails, they get training the normal and boring Jonin to Genin way.

 ***Ping*** And we have heads! Okay! ANBU training style it is!

"Dragon." I called out to my second in command through the ANBU tattoo and waited.

Knock Knock. "Come in, Dragon." As I waited for him to get seated I filled out the authorization for my new team.

"Inu is coming back." I randomly said still filling out the papers. "The dumb old man was smoking something and gave me a team of genin and one of them is Inu. And since the coin told me to, I'm going to train them ANBU style. I need you to make sure they don't go anywhere they aren't allowed. Meaning pretty much everywhere except training field A so I'll be reserving that one for an undetermined time."

Silence. Huh. I looked up and Dragon was just sitting there in shock. Waving my hand I said, "Hello? Dragon?"

"Huh? Sorry I was trying to figure out the code you just gave me and I have no clue which code to implement to even begin decoding your order. Can you tell me what you're talking about without all the smoke and daggers?" He asked, entirey confused.

"That wasn't a code." I deadpanned.

"WHAT?! Why would Kakashi be a genin? And why are you a jounin sensei? You're OUR Commander! And what's this about a coin telling you to do things? Where's the coin that dared to do that! I'll crush it! I'll get a group together right away and crush it. It's going to spend an eternity in the TI department!" an outraged Dragon cried out.

Sweatdrop. Really? Of all the things he concentrated, he concentrated on the coin. I am never leaving them again if this was only due to a month away. If I leave for any longer they would've probably taken over the village, put it on wheels, and move it to wherever I was.

"I flipped a coin." I replied and was going to say more but decided that it wasn't worth the headache. "I just need you to tell all the ANBU and recruits that they aren't to harass any of my students. Understand? And leave my coin alone!"

"Fine. But next time….." he left the threat hanging.

"Fine. Fine. Now go!" I told him.

Headache averted. Now if only my students would do the same. Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'll see them in 3 days.

* * *

 **Please RR. Any feedback is good feedback!**


	4. Introduction, ANBU Style

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any, way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.**

 **Thanks to Serena24 for beta-ing!**

* * *

 **SUMMARY : At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonini at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains he mask of the Kitsune. ****When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captainbdue t his excellent record and strenth.** **At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he take a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.**

 **Team 7's registry is now:**

 **Sensei : **

**Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)**

 **Subordinate (Minions) : **

**Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)**

 **Haruno Sakura (Genin)**

 **Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)**

* * *

 **Questions and Answers :**

 **Animelove22:**

Q: Did u get that moving the village from SpongeBob squarepants?

A: Actually I got it from one piece. It's future Water 7 but on land, so viola! Wheels and the village is now portable.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4 – INTRODUCTION, ANBU STYLE**

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarters – Cafeteria**

"Another miso ramen, please" I cried out. Ahhh…. Ramen. Hmm…. Wait, wasn't I suppose to be doing something? Oh! Right, the baby chicks.

"Hey Puppies! Bring me the Kittens please." I singsong. As soon as they heard puppies, my cute little dangerous murderous puppies lined up. Yup. Still having withdrawal symptoms.

"Kitten? When did you get cats?" My poor dear confused Dragon asked.

"The new recruits. You guys are puppies. They are kittens because they're harmless but think they have claws. And I want them to pick up the baby chicks." I replied. It was completely logical to me at least but I saw confusion in their eyes. "Just get the kittens"

I finished the miso ramen that I ordered by the time my kittens are lined up. Awww….. some of them are still disgruntled. How cute.

"Alright kittens! I need you to pick up my new baby chicks. The students that our crack-pipe smoking old man 'volunteered' for me." I began to say. Oh! Is that a hiss? Huh…. It seems that even though they're disgruntled of me they're also going through withdrawal. Hmmmm… since kittens do have claws….maybe I'll assign some to the Hokage. That's something to think about…..right moving on. "Now, usually when someone is inducted, they are taken at night at a certain time and place. However, I really do need to meet them today so….. All of you are going to go get them without us telling them. It'll be their induction."

"So….let me just make sure I heard you correctly. All 80 of us are to go to the Academy to kidnap your students….. I mean baby chicks." Coyote asked.

"MmmmHmmm. Correct. Oh, and since you are going to kidnap them, do the whole bag, gags, and rope show. Now you're probably wondering why I'm sending all 80 of you guys since it's only 3 genin. Well the truth is, Kakashi shall be one of my genin too. So 78 of you guys would be bagging that giant baby chick. Please be careful. If things get out of hand just pulse me a signal and I'll come but you guys are my kittens because you have claws. So use them! Just don't kill my chicks that's all. Some rules no killing, nothing permanent. You guys do well and I'll train you guys. Now, shooo. I want them in the indoor training field A tied to a chair with the bag on their head by 1:30"

At the mention of me training them, their eyes lit up. And I swear I heard some purr. Okay, they're taking these nicknames too far. I wonder how they would do. Actually, now I'm curious. Okay! Time to stalk…. I mean observe their progress!

And what better way to observe than to be in the class itself. Okay! To the Academy!

* * *

 **Academy**

"….. and that's what it means to be a shinobi." Dolphin finishing his speech. Argh… this is so boring…. Why did I want to do this again? Oh right, I was bored. Ah! The Jounins are coming in to pick them up. Hey, what do you know? Kakashi is actually on time.

"Kittens….pounce!" I whispered into the ANBU tattoo and 80 of my kitten obediently appeared. Huh…. Half of them did really pounced onto Kakashi. I really should be more careful with my words but it worked since it has the elements of surprise.

I sat back and watched the organized chaos that my kittens are leaving the classroom in. Oh… there goes the screeching baby chick. Ah…. At least the depressed chick is trying to fight back. Oh, there he goes. Ah… now to the main event….. my old chick. Hmm…. It looks like he dulled a bit but not that much. Still the kittens won't be a match for him. I signal to Dolphin to help out. And with an electric shock to the back of the head my old chick is down! Yay! Three for three!

Deciding to mess with the class I cried out, "Alright! We got the sharingan and the noise pollution. Retreat!" And that is how my organized chaos just turned into chaos. Alright time to go play with my new toys…. I mean students.

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarter – Indoor Training Field A**

"Everybody report to Indoor Training Field A if you're not on an assignment! Don't worry, I'll video record it for you if you miss it" I called out into my ANBU tattoo as I watch my kittens tie up my little chicks. "Alright kittens! Seal your mask and pick up one of these kitten ones and then fall into form!"

One by one my puppies came in and stood behind me. "You my pups are going to seal your real mask and pick up a puppy mask and fall into form. In front of me!"

As my pups got their mask, I went over to the kitten to see if any of them had gotten hurt by Kakashi. Hmm….. they need to work on their dodging but otherwise it was pretty good.

When they all lined up in front of me I pulled off the bags and woke them up with a Suiton. Oh and boy did they wake up. I gave an order to a Nara to get ready to shadow possess.

Ah. Now I have their attention. Perfect.

"Hello Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I have kidnapped you guys. Should've been nicer to me in Academy, don't yeah think." I gloated in front of them. I stood in front of them looking into their face. Sasuke was a little pale. Sakura was getting red. Oh! Kakashi is perfect! Realizing just who is going to be his sensei, Kakashi faded into a ghost.

"NARUTO-BAKA! LET US GO THIS INSTANT OR I'LL POUND YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!" screeched Noise Pollution. And, yup, they're surrounded with weapons pointed at them in an instant. Oh! The vicious ones are the kittens! I glance over to Kakashi and noticed that he looked like he wanted to do the same thing and was giving me adoring stares. Great. Now I'm worried about all the ex-ANBUs.

"Just knock her on her head hard without knocking her out and return" I said in a dismissive tone. *CRASH* And there goes the chair. Great. And this is why the budgets are always high. "Get her another one and splash her with water so she's completely aware."

*SPLASH* "As you can see, Sakura, insulting me, threatening me, or even THINKING of threatening me, will get you hurt." Wow, déjà vu….. oh, right the new recruits…. Where are they… ah right! They're doing some D-ranks for me. "These men and women are completely loyal to me. It's all in the mask. There are special seals there that makes them follow me to wherever and the Hokage doesn't even know about it. HAHAHAHAHA! If I say jump, what would you reply, guys?"

"HOW HIGH!" they chimed back. "If I said to jump off the bridge, what would you guys say" I continued. "YES SIR!" chimed their response. I glanced at them and noticed both Sakura and Sasuke paling really fast. Oh good. This is fun. Let's push them a little more. "Who do you belong to?" I asked. "YOU, THE COMMANDER!"

"Here, let me demonstrate these mask for you. You see here sitting next to you is Hatake Kakashi. Also known as the Copy-nin, an A rank, bordering S rank. We took him as he was coming to meet his team. Watch me put on the puppy mask and he will obey my every command." I put on the puppy mask on Kakashi and cut his binds.

"Kakashi!" I yelled. "Come here." Kakashi marched over to me right away. "Sit!" Kakashi sat. "Bark and give me 30 one finger push up!" *Bark* and started doing the pushups. I grinned. Yes, he's still one of mine even though he left. "And pup, who do you belong to?" I asked. "You, Commander-sama" he said in a reverent tone. "Go into formation."

I gave a smug look over to Sakura and Sasuke. Ah…. And there's the terror. I signal the Nara to get behind them and not let them know. It's show time!

"Now you guys are special. See this. This is the new mask. You would be completely conscious but can't do a thing but follow my commands." I showed them the chick mask which was only from the nose to the chin with a beak. I activated the silencing seal and put them on. As I did that I saw the Nara connecting his shadow to the both of them.

"Come here Sakura." I ordered and watched her walk over. "Now, your turn Sasuke." And walk over he did. I could see the terror in both their eyes as it was rolling around like crazy in their sockets.

I leaned into them and said, "And by the end of it, you'll be just as loyal to me, The Demon Lord!" I flashed my eyes with Kurama's chakra to make my eyes red with a black slit so it looked demonic. Oh….and there they go! Their eyes roll back and passed out.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" everyone was on the floor laughing their ass off.

I let them laugh awhile before I said, "Okay, guys jokes over. Replace your mask and get to work. Kakashi, stay"

"YES, SIR"

As the room emptied I turned to look at Kakashi properly. It seems the years have been rough on him mentally. Sigh. "Are you alright, Inu?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah… Yeah….I'm fine now. I'm finally home." Kakashi said in a relieved tone. I healed him anyways and activated his ANBU tattoo again. When I felt a connection I added to the connection I have with everyone, he looked over and smiled. Yeah, they may be murderous, dangerous, and crazy, but they're my pups.

I moved Sasuske and Sakura over to the couches and brought out the smelling salt. *GASP* They both woke up with a start and looked around. At the sight of me, they stiffen and paled.

"Good you're up. Follow me. And you won't like it if I make you." I said distracted as I was going through the paperwork to make then trainees. Knowing the way by heart, I didn't even look up. *THUD* Sigh. I turned around and, yup, both Sakura and Sasuke were pinned to the floor by Inu and Cat. With many more behind me. I started to develop a twitch. 'I'm not going to kill my ANBU…. Or maim….. you have to set an example. Don't kill them. Don't kill them.' I chanted that mantra in my head.

Breathe. "If you guys do not do your work and stop following me I'm going to send you to Daycare with giant diapers on for a week. Is that understood?" I said very, very sweetly. *WHOOSH* And they were gone with the wind. Sigh. Looking down at the two dumbasses I decided it was too much trouble to walk back. Flash it is then.

I nodded to both Inu and Cat to let them up and dismissed Cat. Inu kept both their hands behind them. I grabbed them and flashed to my office and walked to my desk.

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarter - My Office**

"Have a seat." I said with a gesture and 3 chairs grew out of the ground. Inu grabbed a seat while Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee stood standing there. "Okay, but if you choose to stand then you have to stand the whole time and I promise you it will take a couple hours." And they quickly seat themselves.

"Okay, first of all lets clear the confusion and terror in your eyes." Both Sakura and Sasuke weakly protested. "What you just experience was just an ANBUs initiative or ANBU hazing. Whichever don't care what you call it. Now, usually I don't participate in this hazing and just let the seniors take care of it but you 3 are my new chicks so I had to take special care of you guys." I continued to say.

"ANBU?" Sakura whispered.

"Yes. ANBU. So you're not in any danger. Yet. At this moment. Anyways, what I mean is you're safe in this room." I saw Sasuke smirking when I confirmed that we're at the ANBU Headquarters. "Don't get a swelled head or anything because you guys were not CHOOSEN to be ANBU rather to tag along to the package." I pointed to Kakashi. He sweatdropped.

"Moving on. Your Jounin sensei would be me. "WHAT?! YOU DIDN'T EVEN PASS ACADEMY! HOW CAN YOU BE OUR JOUNIN SENSEI?" Screamed Tweedle Dum jumping up in her chair. I glared at her and she meekly sat down. "Do I have to tie you do the chair and gag you or will you let me continue?" I asked rhetorically.

"As I was saying, I am your Jounin sensei and if you don't like it then I can send you right back to the Academy." "WHAT THAT'S NOT FA-" I pointed to her chair and the legs and arms of the chair wrapped around her arms and legs. A wooden belt pulled her back down and the head rest turned into a gag. I looked at Sasuke and asked, "Do I need to do that to you too or can you control yourself?" Sasuke quickly shook his head. "Good."

"Now, as I saying for the third time, I am your Jounin sensei so you have two choices only. Academy or me as a sensei. What are your answers?"

"Stay" Sasuke said right away. I moved the gag away from Sakura's mouth for her answer. "Stay" And the gag's back on. I swear I saw humor and relief in Sasuke's eyes. Ohhh. Tweedle Dee looks like he got a fetish for bondage.

"Okay, since you guys agreed…No Inu, you don't get a choice" I said when I saw him raise his hands. He slowly lowered it pouting the entire time. Yeah. My title should change to Glorified Babysitter. "Let me tell you how things are done here. I don't ever take students because I can't show favoritism so this is already highly unconventional, but because of a bad pup I left lose, I'm stuck." Glaring at Kakashi. At least he has the decency to look sheepish.

"Now, what you heard when you were in that training field was true. I am the ANBU Commander so while I will be training you, there will be time where I'll have another ANBU babysit you while you do your exercises after I show you." I continued. I saw Kakashi's eyes glazed over in boredom. Now we can't have that…... I fired a lightning bolt at him. ***ZAAP*** "Oh look! You're back. I was afraid I lost you there. Now pay attention even though you know the drill. I'm not talking for my own health. I thought you would know better Inu." I scowled at him.

Sasuke raised his hands. Good he can learn. "Yes?" I asked. "Are you really the ANBU Commander and you're not just joking?" he asked politely just to play it safe.

"Yes, I am the ANBU Commander. You can even ask Kakashi there." I said as I wave a hand at Kakashi. "Yes, he is the ANBU Commander" he parroted after me. Right because that would convince him. Whatever. This is taking too long.

"Now in front of you are some forms you would need to fill and sign. Take your time looking over it." I pointed to the two folders on my desk. I let Sakura go from the chair.

"Now Kakashi, you have two options. You go back being Inu or you completely start anew. Which do you want?" I asked Kakashi. "Inu" "Okay, Inu it is. This is going to take them a while to fill and sign so if you want, there's a chair in the corner for you to sit and you can read those trash my Godfather writes." Making a shooing motion.

Looking at the time, I noticed it was 6. I made a clone and sent it to the Mission Assignment Desk while I finished up on the paperwork that decided to spawn on my desk.

2 hours later both Sasuke and Sakura said they're finished.

"Cut your palm and put it to the front of the folder and send some chakra through it. If you did it right, there should be a mask and clothes. If you did it wrong it will glow red in the parts you missed." I instructed. Ahh… you got to love seals. Less paperwork for me.

 ***POOF* *POOF*** Two different color baby chick mask that covered the whole face popped out with clothes underneath. "If you don't like the color, too bad, that's life." I said as I saw Sakura open her mouth. "Now bring it to your left shoulder and channel some chakra. An ANBU in training mark will appear. This would be where you store your mask. This tattoo is a storage seal for your ANBU gear so you can change at any time. Now put your stuff away for now." I said as I took the two files they filled out.

"Inu, I put your stuff in your mark when I activated it. Now come here." I told him. He got up from his chair and walked over to stand in front of me. By this time Sakura and Sasuke were also standing. "Look at each other. You guys are going to be working together for a loooong time. Do you see anything you don't like? Well, I don't care. You're going to take whatever you're feeling about the other and you're going to toss it. From now on you guys are brothers and sisters. Arms, Legs, and Head. One Unit. That means I don't want to hear any Fangirl squealing (I glared at Sakura), or asking for dates. You do that when I let you go but not on my time. You guys will be eating together, bathing together, and sleeping together. For the next month you are to be joint at the hips unless I say so. I don't care that you're the opposite gender of the person next to you, you guy are to be everywhere together. If I see you apart within this month, I shall forcefully chain you guys together. Understand?" I told impatiently.

"Yes, sir!" they answered. Even though I can tell Sakura and Sasuke only answered so they can stay, I let it go. I feel sorry for Inu but then again this is payback for all those times he made fun of my height.

In a softer tone I continued, "When you walk out that door, it is to a new family. Everyone that has an active mark would be your brother and sister. You treat them with respect and they will respond back. Here, we don't care what clan you're from (I looked at Sasuke) or how rich or poor you are. We are a family. And like all families, there will be fights. The only rule that you have to follow will be: 'You may not kill, maim, or do any permeant injury whether it is mental, physical or spiritual.' Should you break this one rule, I will tear you apart piece by piece while keeping you alive the whole time just to heal you and do it again and again and again. I hope I'm very clear about this. If you have any problems, come to me or Dragon. I will be your best friend, your worst enemy, your sister, your brother, your mother, your father, your aunt, your uncle, etc. I will always be there for you whether you want me to or not. Now, if there's an emergency, just pulse your mark and I'll be there. If you are unsure about anything, ask. Politely. Now I can see that you're dead on your feet so I'll have Dragon take you to your new room. Tomorrow starts at 6am. Be ready by then and if I have to wake you up you'll all be used as target practice."

I gesture and Dragon appeared from the shadow and took them to their room. Oh boy, this is going to be a tiring month. I'll take it one day at a time.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Please review. Flames and criticize welcomed!**


	5. Hell's Bootcamp - Day 1 (Morning)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.**

 **Thanks you Serena24 for beta-ing and for your suggestions!**

* * *

 **SUMMARY : At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonini at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains he mask of the Kitsune. ****When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captainbdue t his excellent record and strenth.** **At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he take a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.**

 **Team 7's registry : **

**Sensei : **

**Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)**

 **Subordinate a.k.a. Minions : **

**Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)**

 **Haruno Sakura (Genin)**

 **Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)**

* * *

 **A/N : Sorry ****for making you guys wait. There's actually two reason why it's a day late. One of these reason is my little sister. She's addicted to FanFiction and have a research paper due so I was holding my update hostage until she done a certain amount. The main reason is that I had to make some changes that I needed to add so I could use it in future chapter. Thanks for waiting guys and for all the encouragements I've been given!**

 **I might have to hold the next chapter hostage again so everyone should 'encourage' my little sister with her research paper. =P**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 5 - HELL'S BOOTCAMP, DAY 1 (MORNING)**

* * *

 **Genin's Shared Room – 5:30am**

"Hey get up Chicklets! You're going to be late. We have to be ready to go in 30 minutes. Trust me, you don't want to be late." Inu told the new recruits as he finished dressing after a shower and putting on all his weapons.

"WHAT? I only have 30 minutes! I'm taking a shower first!" Sakura yelled as she sprinted towards bathroom in a hurry. As Inu watched her run into the bathroom, he turned towards Sasuke and said, "That was a big mistake you did there. Good luck!" and sat down in a chair by the door with his alarm set to 5:59 am to remind him to get ready to stand.

Sakura came out of the bathroom after taking a 25 minutes shower to a very annoyed Sasuke. "There's more than one person here, Haruno." Snapped Sasuke as he stormed into the bathroom.

"5 minutes guys!" Inu remind them. Of course, Inu was ignored.

"Oh Inu, we'll only be a few minutes late. It's not going to make a difference to him. Naruto is a softy and would cave to any demand." Sakura said unconcerned as she looked through the outfits that were provided for something that would grab Sasuke attention.

"Softy? Naruto? Oh are you're in for a surprise then." Inu muttered darkly. Inu looked over at her and noticed that she still had only her PJ's, which was a thin short dress on, and was trying to dry her hair.

 ***Beep Beep Beep*** Inu quickly stood up and stood by the door at attention, waiting for Naruto to barge in. And sure enough…

 ***BHAM***

* * *

 **In the Hallway Corridor of the Genin's Room**

I was leaning right outside my chicklets' room as I listened to them scrambling to get ready. It seems that Inu took my threat to heart and also woke the others so he wouldn't get punished along with them. Oh well, teamwork has to start somewhere, even if it's done in a disgruntled way.

 ***Beep Beep Beep*** Oh! Showtime! "Puppies!" I called out singsongly, "My chicklets are being mean to me. If they don't come out now then they're going to be late. I just know that they're making fun of me." ***sniff sniff***

 ***Growl!*** I heard a growl from the 12 that showed up when I called puppies. Ah….progress. They have moved from "Creepy Stage" to just "Eager Puppies".

 ***BHAM*** and there goes the door. I turned to glare at the puppies and called out, "You better fix that before they get back! But for now, 'Sic'em!'" I pointed into the door.

I noticed that only Inu was waiting for me and only didn't come out because his teammates weren't ready. I motioned for him to walk out into the hallway to wait.

 ***Beep Beep Beep*** At precisely 6 I had a combat ready Inu, a harpy in PJ with wet hair, and a streaker. Ah… the first day. My favorite. It's the day they learn I mean what I say and learn to listen intently.

"Alright! Right on time! Let's go for our morning warm-up." I said cheerfully and started walking away.

"Um… Commander. Can I please put on clothes first?" Sasuke asked in an embarrassed tone. I looked back and noticed that he was turning really red. Huh, kinda like those tomatoes that he likes to eat.

"Since I'm so nice…. Frog, go get Tweedle Dee a towel." I said innocently. "Please note that this is the only one time. What you have on at 6 am is whatever you'll stay in." I glanced at Sasuke as he was trying to hide his privates with his soapy hands. "….. Including shampoo. Huh. Creative aren't we?" I asked as I cocked my head.

Frog hands Sasuke a hand towel. Ohh…. And the hazing continues. Since Frog did follow my instruction, I let it pass and continue to walk towards Indoor Training Field A.

5…4…3…..2…1….. "NARUTO-BAKA! YOU HAD BETTER LET ME AND SASUKE GO BACK TO GET DRESSED OR ELSE I'LL…" silence. Huh. I turned around to find it was the new recruits that stopped her. She's going to kill herself one day. Suicidal or just plain dumb. *Smirk* It seems I just have to make the lesson _pounded_ in for it to stick.

"Snake, I have a _special_ assignment for you. Come and pick it up." I said with a grin.

I turned to Sakura. "Since you're worried about the fact that you're a girl dressed improperly, I'm going to have a kunoichi instruct you this one time." She looked relieved. If only she knew. "This morning, you'll be running to just warm up. A very _easy_ assignment so don't worry" I told her.

"MMmmmm… Commander. You don't come over anymore. I got a little present for you that's Hot and Ready." Anko said suggestively as she rubbed up against me. I rolled my eyes. Of course she has to make it sound like something else when she's talking about hot iron brand. "And I got a little present for you right here!" I pointed towards Sakura.

"She's worried that she's improperly dressed. She need to do a morning run. You may add _incentives_ if you wish." I said with a smirk.

"Oooh….I'll be ready for you tonight for this present!" Anko said in a husky voiced.

"I'll see you tonight, then. I might bring some guests to join us." I warned her. "Have fun with your present!"

'Boy, is Sakura in for a surprised. Anko seems happy though…..I'll wrap a bow next time, too.' I thought as we arrived at the Training Field.

* * *

 **Indoor Training Field A**

I walked to the middle of the training field and looked around. The training field was about a mile square feet large. About a football field size clearing in the middle while it's surrounded by trees.

"Alright Puppy and Tweedle Dee! While Tweedle Dum is getting tortu… I mean educated, we, and by we, I mean you guys, are going to run. Now, last night I was fiddling with the ANBU tattoo (here I heard a groan from Inu and completely, and effectively ignored it) and added some nifty training function. What was that Inu? Please let me be the first to test it? Why, sure, I mean, if you really insist, who am I to argue! Such an eager lab rat... ahem... I mean student.. yeah! My beloved student!" I reached over and touched my commanding seal and said, "Inu, Level 5 Resistant, Level 5 Gravity. No Chakra" And watched, greatly amused, as he almost fell and face-planted on the floor, as the gravity increased to 2 times the normal gravity level and the resistance he feels now, is similar to walking through water.

"Um…..Commander? Not that I'm complaining, because I really, really am not," Inu quickly assured me, not wanting an even MORE harsh training, "but do you think that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum will survive the ANBU training, even if it's watered down? They don't have the training the new recruits had before" Inu pointed out.

"It's true, I could've done the regular training but I do have this option so I flipped a coin." I honestly replied. I saw Inu sweat drop. I could almost hear him indignantly saying how I decided fate with a coin. "In fact, since it helped me make such a wonderful decision, it's going to continue to decide your fate. Now, let's get back on track. Since Inu is actually a Jounin he starts at level 5. You my dear chicklet will be starting at level 1 witch is only 20% of what he has and we'll be working our way up." I looked at Inu as he stood there listening. "Inu, run. You don't need to hear this." I gave him a deadpanned look. Trying to slack off already...

"Heh….yes, sir!" and he started to run. I observed him a bit to make sure he was actually running and wasn't just jogging. Okay. Turning back to Sasuke I said, "Now, as I was saying, you chicklets will be starting at level 1 and working your way up as you get used to it. This is so you don't strain any growing muscles. Now listen up, when I say run, I mean run. You don't have to full on sprint but don't start to jog. I want you to walk a lap, jog a lap, and then start running. If I see that you're not running at full speed, I'll add some _incentives_ for you to run. Questions?"

"Um…. Would Tweedle Dum….. I mean Sakura also be having these weights or is this just a guy thing and do I have to wait for her to go to level 2" Sasuke asked, probably not wanting to slow down his training. "Girl or guy doesn't matter. You guys will be doing the same thing. The pace that you advance is up to you. Now, run little chicklet while I get Tweedle Dum settled."

"How long and how much?" He asked

"Till I stop you." I turn to my tattoo, "Tweedle Dee, Level 1 resistant, Level 1 gravity, no chakra." I changed his settings. "Now, shoo and make sure you don't slip or trip with that little towel on." I watched him start his walk and turned my attention to my tattoo. "Snake, explain resistance and gravity seals to her. I'm going to remote active 20% increase for resistance and gravity. And tell her no chakra. She's to run however you want her to, be it flatland, mountains, or forest. I'll tell you too when you can stop. Same rules, no killing, maiming, or permanent. Have fun" I explained. "Tweedle Dum, Level 1 resistance, Level 2 gravity, no chakra."

I looked around and decided to work on my control for wind. No point in just standing, plus I thought of a great idea I wanted to try. I looked over to check on pup and chicklet and watched as Tweedle Dee started to run and noticed he was purposely running a little slower to conserve energy. I guess he didn't believe me.

"Kuchiyose no Jutus: Tiger: Lily and Mimi" ***POOF*** A tiger of about 15 feet tall and a tiger cub that's around the height of my knee appeared in front of me.

"Hey Lily. Hey little Mimi. How are you doing?" **"I am doing fine Naruto-sama. What have you summoned us for?"** Lily replied. "The Old Man was high on something and gave me a Genin team and now I have to train them. I thought Mimi here, could play a little, while you make sure he doesn't retaliate. Plus, with me stuck in like this in the village, I won't be able to summon you much and am using whatever chance to." I grinned.

" **You mean, you're bored and want entertainment. I'm assuming it's the smaller of the two since he's going at a snail like pace. Go on Mimi, I'll watch from here. Don't aim to kill, so nothing neck and above."** Purred Lily.

As we watched, Mimi scampered off towards Sasuke, I grinned and asked, "How'd you guess I was bored?" **"Besides the fact that you're grinning like crazy, you also have that gleam in your eyes."** She replied as she laid down and watched her cub.

"Yo! Tweedle Dee!" I hollered over to him. "You seemed a little slow so I'm sending you some incentives. Don't retaliate since her mom's watching her and will take offense. Her bite and scratche hurts by the way. Have fun you two!" He turned to look over and noticed a tiger that's up to his knee coming in at a high velocity and took off the other way.

I noticed a pulse immediately followed it to where it was only to appear next to Tweedle Dum in Training Ground 44.

* * *

 **Meanwhile with Anko**

"You better run faster or my pretty is going to get you. HAHAHAHAHA" crackle Anko on top of a Giant Snake that was chasing Sakura through Training Ground 44, also known as the Forest of Death.

When this exercise began, Sakura couldn't believe her luck. Naruto actually gave into her demand even though he said he wouldn't the night before. Now she knew what to say every time there's an exercise that would give her unsightly muscles that would make Sasuke scorn her. Everything began normal with explanations while she stretched, when suddenly she felt a lot heavier and almost couldn't move. Next thing she knew she's running from a snake that the crazy lady summoned with a mouth that was big enough to swallow her whole in a single gulp.

She quickly pulsed the tattoo that Naruto said to if she ever needed help and suddenly he was there running next to her.

"What's the matter?" he dared to ask as he easily kept up with her running.

"WHAT'S THE MATTER?! THE MATTER IS THAT YOU GAVE ME TO A LADY THAT BELONGS IN THE LOONYBIN AND I'M ABOUT TO BE EATEN BY A GIANT SNAKE!" Sakura screamed at him.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her and said in a plainly bored voice, "All I see is you running. She's giving you encouragements to run. Plus, even if you were in trouble, with that tone you give me, how does that make me want to help you in any way?" and he flashed away to Snake to talk.

* * *

 **On top of the Snake – Mary**

"Hey Mary. Thanks for helping out. How would you want to earn two dead cows" I said to Mary as I landed on her head. "Hiissss-Hissss, I would love to. What do you want me to do?" Mary laughed as I started to grin.

"If you can catch her and swallow her to the place you place prisoners in your body, those dead cows are yours." I said with a foxy grin.

"HAHAHAHAHA" Anko crackle next to me. "I knew there was a reason why I liked you! Besides all those presents you give me to play with in the T&I department, that is. I wasn't even going to go that far."

"Meh, she needs to learn that she can't start demanding things like a spoiled child." I said with a shrug. "Here's a camera. Record this for me. It'll be great for blackmailing her in the future."

"Mmmmm….even better. Are you sure you don't want to come to my bedroom later to have some fun. I promise I'll be gentle." Purred Anko as she leaned into my ears.

Having dealt with her for years, I just brushed it off since she lived off of people's embarrassment.

"Okay, I got to go back to my other two. Thanks again." I said before I flashed back besides Lily.

* * *

 **Indoor Training Ground A**

Chaos. Pure chaos is what I arrive back at. And I wasn't even gone for 5 minutes.

Sasuke is now dodging and running from a tiger cub, a wolf cub, a baby dragon, and a shrunken Kurama who was spiting miniature fire ball at his heels. On the other side were the new recruits battling Lily. Well battling would be an overstatement since it looks more like she's batting them around. And Inu, well, Inu is running, except now with his face in an orange book.

Deciding that enough was enough I flared my Chakra from suppressed to 1% and snapped out a senbon at Inu's orange book and pinned it to a tree. That immediately caught their attention.

"And what, exactly, is going on in here?" I drawled out, unamused. I was very unamused since they were all on the same side. These new recruits sure are high strung. High strung like a baby horse. Hmmm…. The new recruits are now Foals.

"Okay, new recruits, you guys are now Foals." I said randomly, getting some weird looks but eh, we all have our quirks. Anyways, moving on…. "Now, Foals, explain why you're trying, trying here being the keywords, to attack my summons." I asked with disdain in my voice.

I watched as they all paled that they probably thought they were something else. Great. I questioned the intelligence of the new generation. They seem to get dumb and dumb.

"We were going to start training when we saw Uchiha-sama get attacked by 4 animals and one of them was the Kyuubi." Of course, it's the Uchiha. "Then this large tiger got in our way and knocked half of us into the trees." Sigh…well, duh, you were attacking someone under her charge. But first thing first.

"K-u-r-a-m-a…. Get. Your. Nine. Tailed. DEAD. Ass over here this instant!" I yelled to my friend/sensei as he stood there staring at me in horror. He knew better than to come out when there's people who had no idea about him.

In a blink of an eye I slap on an obedience seal and a collar on him. "Sit. Stay. Good" As I watched my seal work, Kurama snapped, **"I'm not a goddamned dog, Naruto. Now take it off before I bite you."** Sigh. "You're no fun Kurama. I wanted to test this seal out since I just made it last night. Oh, you missed the hazing introduction I did on my Genin."

" **Genin…... Right and since when did you accept lowly cannon folder into ANBU?"** Kurama questioned me as he looked at me as thought _I_ was the one who's insane. "The Old Man was high or something…. I'm going with senile and high but who knows what else. I really feel like there should be a psychological check-up he's required to do ever since he decided to send me to the Academy as a punishment." I said with concern.

"Senile old man aside, where have you been? It's been more than a month since I let you out and you disappeared on me without telling me. I was half afraid to go home to find an empty crater where Konoha used to stand. I know I can always recall you but I wanted to give you space but I was really worried for you since there's those pesky Akatsuki still around looking for the Bijuus. Just contact me at least once a week next time" I scolded Kurama quietly since no one knew he was actually the Demon Lord in my stomach instead of an actual summon. It was a little bit amusing to see one of the three Sennin cowering in front of an eleven year old though.

With the scolding done, I took off the collar around his neck and he jumped onto his preferred seat, my shoulders. I walked back to the group of foals that seemed ready to bolt in a second notice.

"Okay little foals. You might not have heard but this indoor training field is reserved and off limit to everyone except my little chicklets. If you need an indoor training field like this, go to indoor training field D and it'll have all the same elements as this one." I said as I dismissed the foals.

 ***WHISTLE*** I whistled sharply and my summons stopped their chase of a now completely naked Sasuke and came over. I gave each of them a hug and dismissed them to go back home. I still don't understand how the little wolf cub and the baby dragon came to this side of their summon contract if I haven't sent for them.

"Snake, you can let Sakura stop running now and bring her back please. Thank you." I spoke into the tattoo. As I was commanding Snake, Sasuke went around looking for his towel so he may keep what dignity that remains after being seen running around naked.

When Snake arrived with Tweedle Dum I had them do some light stretches so their muscles would tense up. While they were doing that, I asked them, "So, what have we learned today?" Because honestly, there wasn't any lesson this morning, just running and I had no plans whatsoever beyond the 'Show the Chicklets where their torture would be' plan.

"I learned that you mean exactly what you say and not to let Tweedle Dum shower first." Tweedle Dee said after he caught his breath and turned to glare at Sakura.

"I learned that we should never give you reason to give us _incentives_ and that Snake is a mixture of crazy and insane." Tweedle Dum started to say, "and that even if you aren't there, you'll know. And that you could be swallowed by a snake and still be alive"

I turned to look at Inu and got, "I learned that you don't appreciate me reading Icha Icha while doing any exercises you may give us and that we should keep you from being bored if the way you played with our seals is any indication." I pouted and increased his resistance and gravity seal to Level 6. Hey, I'm 11, I'm allowed to be petty.

"Oh good, you guys learned something. I just wanted you guys to know where the Training Field was and that's all." I said with a happy smile that soon turned into a grin when I saw all three of them face-faulted into the ground. "Let's head to the Cafeteria to get you guys some breakfast/brunch and afterwards we can begin with an assessment of your skills so we may know what you need to work on."

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarters – Cafeteria**

"Alright little chicklets! This here is the Cafeteria. It is open 24 hours a day for any snack or drink you would want to eat. However, meal is only served during meal time which is from 11 am till 3 pm for lunch and then 5 pm till 11 pm for dinner." I explained to my little chicklets as I walked up to the counter and got 2 miso ramen.

I looked behind me and noticed that my little chicklets had disappeared and only my Inu was following me. Huh. Weird, they were right behind me when we got to the door. Where did they go now? Oh! There they are… hiding behind the door. Heh, I guess they're embarrassed about the state of their clothes or rather, lack of clothes. I guess they'll learn to get up and dress on time now. But they seriously need to eat now…. So I took pity on Sasuke. I walked back to the door and took off my coat and offered it to him.

"Here, Tweedle Dee. I suppose you learned you lesson about getting ready on time. So use my coat to cover up and come in." I saw him hesitating in accepting what he probably perceived as pity or charity, I added, "If you don't, you might end up with ANBU fan-girls while you're here and trust me, you'll be here in the headquarters for at least 6 month without leaving. That's 6 month with fan-girls after you with nowhere to go" With that said, he quickly grabbed my coat and hastily put it on. "You really need to eat to replenish your energy. Plus you're probably really hungry right now, aren't you?" I asked him. And as if his stomach was waiting for me to give it its cue, it let out a huge growl. Almost immediately, Sasuke's face turned bright tomato red.

Chuckling I started walking back to the counter and said, "Alright chicklets come over here." Sasuke hesitated for a brief moment and then straightened, stood tall and walked over with no hesitation and as much dignity as he could, despite the fact that he spent all morning long with only a small towel wrapped around his waist as his outfit. Sakura however, hovered by the door a little longer, before she also scurried over chasing after Sasuke with her face bright red. Now you may be asking yourself, why would Sakura's face be red? The reason behind this is her PJ's which consist of a thin small dress which was now torn and ruffled and barely covering places on her body that would allow her some modesty. Not to mention, she was slimy from head to toe, due to being swallowed by Mary more than once.

When I arrived at the counter, Inu was still there waiting obediently with his food ready. I turned to Inu and told him to go and find a table first and I'll stay with the chicklets until they get their order. After I finished relaying my instructions to Inu, I turned back to my chicklets and started to explain how the cafeteria worked.

"As I was saying before, this is the Cafeteria. Ta Da!" I said with fake enthusiasm. "It is basically open 24 hours a day for any snacks or drink you would want to eat. Except alcohol. That you'll need to go to my office for. You can get as many snacks as you want, however, full meals are only served during meal time, which is from 11 am till 3 pm for lunch and then 5 pm till 11 pm for dinner." I instructed. "Now, order something nutritious and filling for your" I looked at the time, "brunch and grab some snacks to take with you. You guys will need it later because you're going to have a long day."

With no hesitation whatsoever, Sasuke ordered imperiously, "I'll have 2 scrambled eggs, hash brown, toast, and milk." My arms automatically reached over and smacked him over the head. "Say please. They aren't required to feed you at all so you best say please and thank you. Be polite. Don't make me have to give you some strong incentive in order for you to be polite. Because, trust me, I really don't mind." He shuddered and turned back to the cook and said in a much nicer tone, "May I please have 2 scrambled eggs, hash brown, toast, and milk." Much better. I turned to Sakura expectantly, and waited for her to order. I knew that with what Anko had put her through, she must be as hungry as a bear coming out of hibernation. So I was really surprised when all that came out of her month when it came to her time to order was an apple. Great.

With a raised eyebrow I turned fully to her and asked, "Why are you only getting an apple? I know you must be hungry with your workout with Snake." And the little twit had the nerve to reply, "Oh. No. It's okay. I'm on a little diet right now. It wouldn't do for me to lose my figure." Sigh. What are they teaching Kunoichi in the Academy these days?

"That will not be enough. You'll need the energy later and kunoichi have a much higher metabolism." I turned to the cook and told him, "Rat, the same order as what my other chicklet ordered please." Turning back to Sakura I told her, "You are now under my care and unless I order otherwise, you are to eat a full meal for EVERY meal. If you do not comply, I will drop you from the program. I will not have a kunoichi under my command getting herself killed because she doesn't have the energy needed to move out of the way." I told her sternly. It was then I noticed that she had quite a bit of nicks here and there along with some spectacular bruising throughout her body. I reached over to her and despite the fact that she flinched away from me, I started to heal her. When I was done with healing her up, both of their orders along with mines were finished.

Grabbing our food I turned back to my chicklet and noticed that she was turning back to bright red. Huh….I wonder why? I mean, when I was healing her, I didn't touch her in an inappropriate way or in any inappropriate places. Figuring that it's probably because of the state of her undress (might as well have been naked since it's all torn up) and my proximity to her was what caused that reaction. That fake 'crush' that I pretended to have on her while I was playing the big dumb idiot persona probably didn't help either.

I walked them over to the table that Inu had selected and sat down with our food. After passing out the correct food to the right person, I walked over to Sasuke and looked all over him. I could tell that this made him really uncomfortable and embarrassed, but at the moment, I didn't care because I noticed there were several bites and scratches from Mimi on his person.

I told him to sit down and I turned his chair so he was facing me. This way I can see the wounds at a better lighting and angle. I looked up and was about to ask him why he didn't mention his wounds after his exercise when I noticed his face turning bright red.

"Hey, you okay, Tweedle Dee?" I asked with concern.

* * *

 **Turmoil Happening Inside Sasuke's Head**

"I'll have 2 scrambled eggs, hash brown, toast, and milk" I said with as much dignity as I can, not that I have much left but I can try to preserve what remains. Even though I am now covered, this morning's 'run' is still fresh in my mind. Stupid Sakura. She _really_ should change her code name from Tweedle Dum' to 'Tweedle DUMB' instead. I can't even blame Naruto for this since he _did_ give us specific instructions, parting with some warnings so it was completely in his right to do what he did. And don't even get me started with the sensei part, it feels weird and awkward to be calling him that.

For the longest time, Naruto has always been the "Dobe" to me, but seeing as he was now, an ANBU and not just a regular ANBU but the ANBU Commander himself, I can't justify calling him "Dobe" anymore. I'm assuming that his presence at the Academy was due to a mission. It is also most probable that the mission required him to act and pretend that he's an idiot for the past three years. That's the only logical reasoning that I can figure out because the difference in the Naruto at the Academy and the Naruto that I have been seeing since I arrived at the ANBU Headquarter is astronomical, like night and day. The person I have been seeing these past two days is completely different from the person I thought I saw in the past three years.

I still haven't decided on the fact whether or not I should, or whether or not I even _want,_ to give the title 'Sensei' to someone the same age as me. (Never mind the fact that he's strong enough to demand it). Due to the fact that I haven't called him anything but "Dobe" in the last three years during the Academy, makes me want to keep it up, if simply out of habit. But I just _know_ that if I keep using that nickname on him (especially with company around), his guard dogs are going to 'accidentally' slip and a weapon is going to 'somehow' end up landing on me. Since I definitely don't want that to happen, I decided to play it safe and just reply with a simple "sir".

I watched as Sensei gave that stupid girl a dressing down about that stupid little habit of hers, dieting. HA! She quickly found out that she deserved that. She made an excuse of wanting to preserve her figure. What figure? She looks like a fucking stick. At least, if she was a stick, she would be somewhat useful. But now, due to that idiotic diet of hers, all she can be useful now, is be a human shield and block incoming attacks. What in the world happenned to make the supposedly 'smartest' kunoichi think that I wanted skins and bones? Why would that dumb little screeching bitch think that _I_ would want to be with skin and bones? Just thinking about hugging her makes me feel phantom pains.

I watched as he reached over and started to heal her scrapes and bruises while I acted as impassively as I could as he gave her another look over. As I saw this, I felt something funny in my chest area that felt somewhat like pain but at the same time it wasn't the pain that I'm used to. I wondered if the chest pain that I'm feeling might be due to the fact that I didn't stretch enough before I started the exercise. Speaking of exercises, I am beginning to question the legality of his training method. I am still unable to see the whole point of forcing my body to have extra gravity and resistance, making me move at a much slower pace than normal. However, due to my pride, I immediately tried to run at the same speed and grace that my body normally had instead of taking the advice that Naruto gave me to slowly get used to the new resistance and gravity.

As I quickly found out, moving with the new resistance and gravity seal was much harder than I thought and I started to slow down. Before I could remember the warning that was given before I started my exercise, Naruto-kun gave me some 'incentives' to go back to my previous speed in the form of a little black and white tiger. With all the 'incentive' needed I started to run from the tiger before it could, and probably would, rip me apart piece by little piece.

I came back to the present as I watched Naruto grab our food and noticed that he had finished healing Tweedle Dumb. I followed Naruto to Kakashi's table and sat myself down while Naruto handed out our food. When it came to handing me my food, I suddenly found myself under scrutiny of Naruto. I found myself sitting stiffly as he came around the table towards me and started to stare hard at me. He looked up and down my body, both in front and behind me. Even though I had the coat on, I suddenly was distinctly aware of the fact that underneath it I had only a towel on.

He suddenly spurned me around in my chair so that I was facing him and knelt down to his knees in front of me. Oh. My. God. I felt my groin start stirring as he looked up from below me with those deep blue eyes. I felt myself blushing so hard but it seemed unimportant compared to those eyes full of concern for me.

"Hey, you okay, Tweedle Dee" he said in a melodic voice. I swallowed and nodded. Not trusting my voice at the moment.

I saw him reach for my thighs. I felt like I was going to faint any moment now.

* * *

 **Back to Naruto**

I reached out to his thighs with my medical chakra glowing in my hands when suddenly ***Thud***.

I looked up to see Sasuke bright red and passed out. Quickly I reached over to his head and noticed that his temperature was pretty high. I turned to my other two charges and told them, "I'm going to lay him down on his bed. I think I may have overworked him. Stay here and finish your food and relax a little bit. Since it looks like he's going to be out for a little while, why don't you guys take the afternoon off, and only the afternoon. I want you guys ready and in front of your room by 5 pm this evening. As soon as you're finished eating, head on over back to your room since you're suppose to all stay together for the first month. Remember now, you're not allowed to be apart for this first month but since today's the first day, I'll give you permission to stay apart ONLY until you finish your lunch. You have to stay together but there's no rule against having to drag him along with you while he's unconscious so you can still walk around the compound. Be warned, should he be harmed, especially since he's unconscious by either you or someone else, it is going to be you that will punished since your jobs as teammates is to look after each other."

"By the way, humiliating him is technically not harming him but he is allowed to retaliate." I called out back to him as I picked up Sasuke bridal style, I flashed over to my Genin team's bedroom and opened the door. Looking around, you can see to whom each bed belongs to. I laid down Sasuke and started to heal him. When I was finished, I put down a seal that would alert me the instant that he woke up so I may double check on his condition and I went to my office. It seems like my plan of assessment had to wait till tomorrow. Oh well. In the meantime while I waited for our personal sleeping beauty, I needed to make arrangements for our lesson later on tonight with Anko.

* * *

 **A/N: Don't know if I'm going to go with a Naruto and Sasuke pairing. (haven't decided yet. So if you have one option or another please let me know in the review. Yes, I know I'm fishing for reviews here… is it working?) But I'm just building up a protectiveness that Sasuke is going to have on Naruto. And as usual, Naruto is clueless in anything related to love. I hope you liked it. I'll be updating around in a week or sooner.**

 **Question: Would you guys rather I update more frequently but shorter chapters or would you rather wait for a longer chapter?**

 **STEPHANIE! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!**

 **Thanks for reading! Please review and write any critiques you might have. Anything you say will help. Thanks again!**


	6. Hell's Bootcamp - Day 1 (Evening)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.**

 **Thank you Serena24 for beta-ing and for your suggestions!**

* * *

 **SUMMARY** **: At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonin at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains the mask of the Kitsune.** **When he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captain due to his excellent record and strength.** **At the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he takes a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.**

 **Team 7's registry** **:**

 **Sensei** **:**

 **Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commander)**

 **Subordinate a.k.a. Minions** **:**

 **Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)**

 **Haruno Sakura (Genin)**

 **Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jounin)**

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry, guys for the later than usual post. This chapter was under hostage due to the fact that my little sister has finals and I didn't want to distract her. But since I've taken so long to update, this chapter is longer than the other ones. Plus, I've been adjusting to my new job so I haven't had time this week during the weekday but it's the weekend now so…. And then my computer crashed but….. Here I am!**

… **. Moving on from me being weird….**

 **Hope you enjoy! Read and Review down below!**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6 – HELL'S BOOTCAMP, DAY 1 (EVENING)**

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarters – 4 o'clock in the Evening**

I was sitting behind my desk, organizing and passing out the different missions that needed to be done now, needed to be done soon, and needed to be done… eventually, when the receiver seal to the one I set onto Tweedle Dee (Sasuke) flashed, alerting me that he was awake. Dismissing todays' last batch of ANBU to their new mission, I locked my door and flashed over to my Genin's room.

As I approached their door, I noticed a loud commotion coming from inside the room. With a raised eyebrow, I knocked onto the door. It's always nice to be polite, even if, as the Commander, I can enter any room, with or without knocking. Plus, this way I won't have to see things that might scar me mentaly forever.

 ***KNOCK* *KNOCK*** There was a silence and then a sudden rustle of noise that I thought made me think that maybe, just maybe, Inu got tired of them, killed them, and is now hiding the bodies. There was a rustle of noise before I heard Inu called out, "Who is it?" Ah, more the reason to suspect Inu really did kill them since Inu would rather stay quiet and lazy.

"It's me, Inu, open the door so I can make sure you haven't killed each other." I said in an amused tone.

When the door opened, I peeked in cautiously. It looked like a hurricane came through and then a flood. There were items haphazardly thrown everywhere and water leaking out from underneath the bathroom door, which was closed and looked to be locked. I looked around, just to make sure my charges were okay and that's when I noticed that the reason why I was there wasn't present in the room.

With another raised eyebrow, I asked, "Where's Tweedle Dee? The seal that I left on him notified me that he was awake. You guys are supposed to be together everywhere for the first month. He better be inside that bathroom because I've been VERY lenient on this matter with you guys. While it's true that this exercise, where teammates live each other lives together, started out as a prank, the results in excellent teamwork is irrefutable. Usually, you'll have to use the bathroom, bathe, eat, sleep, and everything else together. I figure I'll give you some form of freedom in your own room and some privacy from each other. At least that's the plan but if you guys decide to test the limits of your freedom and my patience, I'll seal you guys together for the un-seeable future."

I could see Inu quickly paled at that thought and promptly answered, "Sasuke has been in the bathroom for the past 5 minutes with the water running. As you can see, he either passed back out or he is that deeply gone, that he doesn't realize or care that our room gets flooded. We started to get worried and were just about to break down the door and that's when you got here." He said this in an urgent tone, not willing to lose what little freedom he had already. He had already partaken in the act of having his movement sealed within 2 feet of his own teammates and apparently is not eager to participate in such torture, I mean training, again. Though if I forced him to answer, he'd admit that working with his teammates afterwards has never been easier but it doesn't mean he WANTS to be joint at the hip and attached to each other by an invisible leash.

"And the room is a disaster zone, why?" I asked with exasperation in my voice. I really feel like a parent walking into their children's fight.

Inu and Tweedle Dum looked towards each other and then back at me. It appears my entertainment turned training has worked again, for during that single moment in which only a glance was exchanged, both Inu and Tweedle Dum agreed that it should be Tweedle Dum that'll answer me. Tweedle Dum said, "We don't know, actually. Tweedle D-, I mean Sasuke woke up about 15 minutes ago and started muttering that he was in a nightmare or that he was in a genjutsu. Then he spent about 5 minutes trying to wake himself from his self-proclaimed nightmare by muttering 'Wake up' over and over again. When that didn't work, he started trying to pick a fight with us but when we refused to fight him, he began trashing our room. When he felt reasonably sure that he was actually awake, he jumped to the conclusion that he was in a genjutsu and then spent the next 5 min yelling 'Kai' and releasing a large amount of chakra." Tweedle Dum ended here and glanced over at Inu, to have him finish the explanation.

"Tweedle Dee then got really depressed and yelled that he didn't faint because you touched his thighs. He then grabbed his shower stuff and stormed off into the bathroom about 5 minutes ago." Inu said, finishing the explanation.

Sigh. Really? Sasuke got into a temper tantrum because I touched his thighs while trying to heal him?! Why that spoiled little brat! I know he doesn't like me but just because I touched him, he trashes a room. What to do? They said that raising a child require both carrot and stick. Hmmm….. I guess today's session with Lily and Mimi _could_ be considered as the stick. I guess I should offer him a carrot. But first, I need to make sure he didn't drown himself or scrub his skin raw because I touched him.

I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked gently. ***knock knock knock*** No answer. Okay, we can do it the fun way. I gently open the bathroom door, ***WHAM!*** , okay, so maybe that's not gently, but hey, the door is now opened.

"What do you guys want!? I haven't been in here that long! I told you guys, just leave me alone!" I heard the spoiled child shouting out from behind the shower curtains.

Well, well! Since spoiled child won't come to me, loving parent shall go toward spoiled child. I walked over to the shower curtains, yanked it open and waited for him to sprout off in an indignant fashion. He opened his eyes and turned towards me furiously and was about to reply in an equally furious, of this I'm certain, attitude.

"I _SAID_ LEA-," he began, only to cut his response off when he realizes that it was me, instead of his teammates/roommates, that was standing there.

Maybe it was because he just woke up or that he has low blood pressure, but whatever the reason is, he just stood there in shock for a full minute. During that minute, in which I patiently waited for him to come out of his shock, I took my time to give his body a once over. Now, before you start screaming at me and calling me a pervert, I was only looking so I may know what kind of exercises and meals I should have him do and eat. His body was borderline anorexic with a fair amount of muscles. Since he lived by himself and had someone waiting on him hands and foot when his clan was alive, he probably has been living on fast food and whatever he can get that doesn't requires him to cook.

He finally woke himself up from his self-induced shock and started to turn red. Again. I'm starting to think he's allergic to me with him getting sick each time we're less than a few feet apart. He looked around for something to cover himself up while using his hands, rather inefficiently, to cover up his privates. Oh, come on! It's not like I don't have the same bits and pieces. Why is he suddenly acting like one of his fan-girls?

I tossed him a towel that was nearby. "Quickly dry yourself up and come out. You've been letting the water run this whole time and you flooded the bedroom. I have something we need to talk about. But, before anything, especially our talk, you're going to need to mop up, clean up, and dry the bedroom. Your roommates are half crazed out of their mind with worry, thinking you drowned yourself or something like that. Come out within 3 minutes or I'm coming in to drag you out, whether you're dressed or not." I told him, as I started to walk towards the once and forever, faithful door. "Oh, and before I forget, due to the fact that I had to knock the door down because of you, you'll be repairing and re-installing the door."

As I walked back out of the bathroom, I noticed a nervous and embarrassed energy emitting from the two. I noticed that Tweedle Dum had a faint blush on her face, while Inu had the whole, 'Kid just got caught with his hands in the cookie jar' face going for him. It appears that Inu and Tweedle Dum were attempting eavesdropping on my conversation with their errant team member but got caught by me. They were trying to look like they have been cleaning up the room the whole time I was in the bathroom, instead of hiding besides the door listening in. Oh, my silly charges… What am I going to do with them?

"Okay, you eavesdroppers, while Tweedle Dee is getting dressed, I'm going to go over some more news about living together in this place, this rule is to make sure it's fair for ALL of the team. I noticed this morning, due to a certain _someone_ , who shall be kept unnamed, being self-centered, another person of the group was unable to finish their shower. Now I asked around and I took the certain person's gender into account but even then, every girl I've asked said that it should take no more than 10 minutes to go in and out of the bathroom for a shower. With this in mind, I shall implement a 10 minutes time limit for taking a shower. That's 10 minutes total. The clock shall start as soon as you enter through the door and only stop when you come back out." I said sternly.

"What?!" shriek Tweedle Dum. "How can I treat my hair with only 20 minutes? I have to let it sit for at least 10 minutes for the treatment to work. And don't get me started with needing to scrub my body at least twice so all the dead skin will come off and leave my skin silky soft. I can't win Sasuke's heart if I don't take care of my body, stupid Naruto!" She raised her fist up, in an attempt to hit me.

Without even bothering to look at her, I swatted her aside. ***THUD*** She smacked against the wall and slowly slide down against the wall, staring at me in shock. "This is the last warning you get, Sakura. I am your sensei. You are to respect me, whether you want to or not. You might not truly respect me but any disrespect will be met with a punishment. Now, back to the shower issues. What makes you think I _CARE_ that you have to soak your hair in whatever it is that you soak it in or that I _CARE_ you feel that you have to wash your body such an amount of times? Or even that you can't win Sasuke heart? Because this might come as a shock to you, but I don't care what so ever. Your hair, if you can't take care of it within that 10 minutes, cut it. I'm not here to teach you beauty tips but to make sure that when you go out into the field, you'll come back alive, in one piece. Trust me, your enemy will not care how silky soft your skin is or how beautiful your hair looks. So shape up. For attempting to hit your commanding officer in an act of insubordination, you are to report to Anko for the next week at 5 a.m. She'll be picking you up in front of your door at exactly 5 a.m." I snapped at her.

After making sure that she understood where she stood in the chain of command, I continued, "Think of this as training since there will be times on the field where you'll have to do with a one minute shower. The exception will be if ALL the team members agrees that you can take a longer time. Even then, the max amount of time you'll get in the shower will be 20 minutes. You have to keep in mind that you're the only person who uses this bathroom. I'm going to be putting these seals up," here I hold up some seals that I made just this afternoon, "and it will keep a log and tell me if there's anyone exceeding the time limit. If you still can't be trusted to take a shower within 10 minutes, despite the fact that I warned you, then from then on, everyone will be taking a shower together. Another seal will go up and this time instead of just keeping log of the time, as soon as the 10 minutes are up, the seal will began to shock you. AND I'll be adding a personal punishment for each person, afterwards." I said cheerfully.

While I was enjoying the music they were making (their groans) about not wanting to shower together, Tweedle Dee came out of the bathroom. He gave his roommates/teammates a raised eyebrow and turned to look at me expectedly, as though it was all my fault that they were being miserable. What? It isn't my fault, honestly. If they followed the rules then there would be no need for communal shower. Convinced that it wasn't my fault, even though it probably is, I raised an eyebrow back and stared right back at him. We continued this until, "Ahem…" Inu interrupted.

"Right, now that I've checked that the quiet Chicklet is fine, let's decide whether or not you'll be coming with me to take up Snake's offer." I said, as I pulled out a coin. "Heads you'll be coming with me and tail you won't be coming with me but going with Dragon to continue your training."

I flipped the coin. Heads it is!

"Okay!" I said, rubbing my hands, "Aren't we in for a special treat! Snake's really good with the whip, she makes it a form of art and the way she uses her tongue…. Freaky, but cool. If you like snakes that is." I said, muttering the last part, I got some raised eyebrows and wide eyes for my comments. Ignoring the weird looks I'm getting, I continue, "Since I'm inviting you along, Snake asked that you dress a certain way. It's just for effects but since the dress code she wants is a little, well, ambiguous, we're going to decide this with the help of some coins." I passed out a coin to each person.

"Heads you're going to have to dress in these," here I pointed to the 3 packages that were laying innocently on one of the chairs, "costumes…. Um… uniforms? Well, whatever you want to call them, you'll be dressing in them if your coin lands on heads. If it lands on tail, then you get to dress in something you won't care if you need to toss away but at the same time, no rags."

I walked over to Sasuke and gesture for him to flip his coin. Heads. "Here's your outfit that Snake oh so generously, supplied." I walked over to Sakura and waited for her to flip her coin. She gave the coin a cautious look and glanced at the pile of package I have on the chair. "Go on, flip your coin. It's not going to bite you." I tried to coax her into flipping it. I do NOT need any more drama from this girl.

"It's not the coin I'm worried about," Stated Sakura, "but what's in the package." It appears, that she developed a healthy dose of wariness when it came to the snake mistress.

"Don't worry. I didn't look into the packages but I can guarantee you won't die just from putting on clothes." I said deadpanned. "Now flip the coin before I decide for you, and judging by how long it took you to figure out what to wear this morning, my decision most likely is going to lean towards you wearing what's in the package."

Flip. Heads. "Well, the package it is. I don't want to hear anything concerning the outfit. No, this doesn't match my hair, or this isn't my style. We decided this fairly, so I don't want to hear any complaints."

I turned towards Inu. "Tail," he answered, even without me prompting him to flip. How I love the older ANBU, there's no waste of time. "Though, if they're going to have to wear the 'outfits', I think, in the spirit of teamwork, I should too." He answered with a perverse giggle. What goes on in his head, I shall never know, but on second thought, I don't want to.

"Well, in that case, maybe, just maybe, I'll also wear my interrogation outfit." I said. Damn my morals.

"Well, you guys still have about 30 minutes to waste. Since I'll be kidnapping Tweedle Dee to have a chat with him, I'll give you guys permission to be separated from each other, at least, until 5 p.m., and in which case you guys are to be dressed and ready by that time." I said, as I laid my hands onto Sasuke's shoulder to flash away to my office. I gave each of my reminding 'Genin's' a stern look. Getting a nod in return, I flashed away, with Sasuke still in my hands, to my office.

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarters – Commander's Office**

"Have a seat Sasuke." I said, as I walked over to the door to unlock it. He immediately sensed the seriousness in the atmosphere, for since he came to the ANBU headquarters, I have never called him by his name. He took a seat without complaint.

He sat there quietly as I walked on over to one of the cabinets along the wall. Finding the file that I wanted to show him, I pulled it out and put it in front of him. Extracting another seat from the floor, I sat across from him and gestured for him to read he file.

As soon as he picked up the file, he tensed. In his hands were the file I had on his brother, Itachi. "Look over it with an open mind, and not a mind filled with vengeance." I ordered, as I leaned back to study his reaction.

"Why are you showing me this?" he asked. His voice was filled with confusion, anger, doubts, and more anger.

"I wanted to tell you that there's more to the Uchiha's massacre than what you know and what was let known to the public. Now, I can't give you an answer 100% accurate, but from what I can piece together from what I know from your brother and the elder council, I suspect that your brother was ordered to do what was done. There are proofs that shows that your family was planning a coup. Before the massacre, the elder council had the power to order any of the ANBU to do their bidding, I've long since corrected that but the damage was done already. This is the reason why I haven't ordered any of the hunter-nin to go after your brother. I want to be a 100% certain that it was completely his fault before I sent ANBU after him for his death." I told him with complete sincerity.

"Now, I'm not showing you this to convince you to stop going after him. I just want you to think about it and not let your vengeance consume you, like you're doing right now. I completely understand that you're angry." He made an indignant sound, and opened his mouth to speak. I raised my hands to stop him and said, "I might not understand how you feel, but I do understand that you are angry at him. I don't think anybody can understand exactly how you feel, to lose everything in one night by the hands of the one person you believe you can trust above all others. But know that, even though I can't relate, I am here for you, as a friend, a sensei, a brother."

"Another point in showing you this file is, if you look at his stats, you'll notice that he was good when he entered but he didn't start to be as good as he is until he entered ANBU and was put under my command. I know you have trouble with taking orders, so I wanted to show you that he only got that good after I trained him. I'm offering you the same training to be just as good, if not better than him. But in order for me to help you reach your peak, you are going to have to LET me help you. That means following my orders even if they don't make sense. Yes, my orders might humiliate you, but look at the results in your hands, you can't deny the effectiveness. I'm laying this all out on the table because, the night before the massacre, your brother made me promise to look after you. It seems, he knew that he'll no longer be able to. This just gives me more proof that he was being forced to do it. So, are you going to let me help you and listen to me _without_ the attitude you've been giving me, or am I going to have to erase your knowledge of this after you become Chunin for security purpose?" I asked him all seriously.

Letting him think it over, I continued, "I've been in ANBU for a long time. Being at the top as the Commander isn't all fun and games, not that I'm saying I don't have fun, because trust me, I do, but it's a lonely position. The ANBUs that have been here longer than 3 years, are so protective of me that, when we do a mission together, they end up looking after me, never-mind the fact that I'm stronger than them. The newer ANBU treat me like a kid, at least, until I smack their asses. Everyone here looks up to me but at the same time, they're in overprotective mode. Especially because of my age. I've been looking for a team for a long time but every one of the ANBU already has a team or if they're the new recruits, they get on my nerves and concentrate more on me than the mission." I told him. I decided to explain to him why I'm actually showing him the file on confidential and sensitive matters, if only to stop him from giving me those suspicious and 'are you crazy' looks.

"I have actually given up on looking for a team that I can call my own, then suddenly, you guys were dropped on my laps due to Inu's being stupid. Oh, by the way, here's a fun fact, did you know he was actually supposed to be your Jonin-sensei? Anyways, I digress, you guys fell right into my lap and I _was_ actually going to teach you guys the normal, boring way, but I figured, why not actually _train_ my minions… I mean my own team." I can see Sasuke sweat drop at my slip of tongue. Oops.

I continue, "I know _you're_ not going to go all overprotective on me. Sakura fan-girlism can be cured, and if not, she'll have her memories sealed. She'll still remember, there just won't be any way she can tell anyone, whether by mouth or otherwise. But she certainly won't be overprotective. Inu... well, Inu is overprotective about ALL his teammates so I can work with that. So…. I flipped a coin to help me decide. If it was heads, I'll be training you guys ANBU style. If it landed on tails, I'll be training you guys the normal, boring way, which means, I'll meet you guys in the morning, have you guys run, jump, and all that jazz , break for lunch, and afterwards, get a D-rank mission and let you guys do it normally."

I gave a happy clap and smiled, "But, lucky for you guys, or unlucky, depends on how you view it, it landed on heads, so here you are! I think that, at least you, will think it's lucky, since this way, you'll get stronger faster. AND there's the benefit of the D-ranks being not too boring, since I'll be adding some twist to it. So, what do you say, are you going to be part of my long awaited team? Or are you going to just get your training and leave? Don't mind those guys pointing their kunais at you, I won't let them hurt you, no matter your decision." I said, waving absentmindedly at the 20 or so ANBU standing around Sasuke, who was starting to look a little pale and definitely distracted.

"Um… even without them threatening me," he said, but quickly rephrased his sentence when the hand holding the kunai to his throat put a little more pressure. "I mean, giving me support in my decision," glancing at the ANBU and sighing with relief when the pressure let up, "I would have taken your offer, if only to get stronger. But with the proof that you've given me, I want to be the one you can trust, at your back."

I gave a sigh of relief. It seems that this random assignment that I got while Old Man Sarutobi was high, is a blessing in disguise. I might finally get treated normally and maybe, just maybe, get a friend out of it.

"In the files it mentions that there's a diary that Itachi left behind and that it was one of the proofs, of the massacre being ordered by the elders. May I see it?" Sasuke asked, as we were closing the conversation up.

"I would let you see the diary, but not until we finish our training. There's too much information on the training beforehand and then the training will not be as effective." I answered. "If you don't have any more questions, head back to your room to get dressed. I'll be there promptly at 5. Oh, and ask Inu about the new shower rule, it was made so Tweedle Dum won't hog the bathroom, in the morning or after training, anymore."

Being dismissed and cautiously avoiding the other ANBU that were packed into my office like sardines in a can, he walked out of the office. He had a lot to think about.

I glanced over at the 20 odd additional bodies that appeared in the room, and asked, "So, what do you guys need, besides scaring the crap out of my Genin?" I asked in a happy tone, after being accepted.

You can literally feel the happiness and relief from the random 20 ANBU, in which they came into the room during my explanations, at Sasuke's acceptance. As soon as I asked my question, my eager puppies came back. "We heard that you were going to the Snake's lair to question Mizuki. We wanted to show our, um, _appreciation_ of the way he treated you this past 3 years. Can we come? Can we? Can we?"

"Sure. Just don't show your _appreciation_ while the Genins are there. We don't want to scare them off, just yet. I'm picking up my Genins a 5 p.m. and will arrive at the 'Tea Station' exit at around 5:15. If you want, you can meet me there and we can go together through the back entrance." I said happily. It warms my heart to see that they cared but at the same time, the way they asked, makes me wonder where I went wrong with them.

* * *

 **Hallway in Front of Genin's Room – 4:58 p.m.**

I arrived at my Genin's room at 2 minutes till 5 and knocked on their door. ***knock knock*** "Yo! My cute little Genins! I'm here to pick you up for the special after hour training!" I yelled out to the door.

The door opened and I walked in. I was pleasantly surprised to see them all dressed and ready and not as pleasantly surprised with their outfits. It appears, Anko wanted Mizuki to think that he's being questioned by pimps and prostitutes. I am soooo glad I didn't have time to change into what was in the packages.

"Um… nice outfit guys." I lamely told them. Hey! What else could I say? I sure as hell aren't going to let them change, with only less than 1 minute till the time we leave, they wouldn't be ready till at least 5:05. "Well, let's go!" I said with a false cheerfulness. I am so glad I've decided to go through the back entrance of the 'Tea Station' exit. I do NOT want to deal the paperwork this will generate if the public saw this. "Um, maybe you guys would want a cloak to cover that up for now?" I suggested weakly, just thinking about the paperwork I might get, if even one civilian saw this.

"Oh god, yes, please!" said my Tweedles. I glanced at their pimp, I mean, Inu, and raised an eyebrow when he didn't move to get a cloak. "That, dear Inu, was a veiled command." I hinted to him, very strongly.

"Oh, okay. But for the record, I like _my_ outfit. Girls won't be able to keep their hands to themselves when they see these fur collars. It's to die for." He said smugly, as he turned to his closet to get a cloak.

"Uh huh, you keep thinking that. Those screams that you'll hear when whoever is unfortunate enough to look at you, aren't screams of passion. When you said, 'It's to die for,' I didn't think you'd want it to be literal" I muttered quietly. I'll let him learn the hard way. With that, I turned back into the hallway to save my eyesight.

With another thought, I hollered through the door, "And wear your mask!" There was no way that I'm doing _more_ paperwork if I can avoid it. If the civies don't know who's under the mask, even if they do somehow get a glimpse through the cloaks, there won't be any way for it to be linked back to me.

The door opened and out trouped my two Chicklets and my Puppy looking somewhat presentable… if not a little unapproachable with the cloak and dagger looks. I can work with that! As long as it requires no paperwork, I can work with it. Especially no stupid complaints about how the ANBU's are dressing up.

"Alright then, off we go to wonderland!" I said as I skipped off, completely ignoring the less than flattering look that they were giving me.

We arrived at the 'Tea Station" exit and met up with the 20 odd (23) ANBU. At the questioning look I was getting from my Genins, I responded, "They wanted to watch and join later when we leave. Don't worry about them, they aren't going to join in while we're there." Despites the fact that I was trying to reassure my Chicklets, this sentence only seemed to alarm them even more, while Inu seemed strangely excited. Such weird little Chicklets and Puppy.

We sneaked out of the ANBU headquarter exit and started to stealthily head towards the T&I Department, which was, luckily for me, right next door. Now to make the back entrance. I grabbed some seals I made and headed towards the mark I made in the wall.

* * *

 **T &I Department - Back Entrance**

We all entered through the wall without being spotted. Yay for me! After making sure the last of the straglers made it through the door, I quickly went back to the temporary door I made and pushed it back so it was flushed against the wall. I then quickly reabsorbed the 4 seals that were on the corner of my door-wall I made. The wonders of making seals completely out of chakra. The door melted back completely into the wall, making the wall back into one piece. Ah, fuinjutsu can do wonders, like right now, I can make a door wherever and whenever I wanted. I wasn't worried about someone stealing my seal design since the design was made to be only compatible to my blood and the special chakra I was using, which was a mix of Kurama's Yang chakra and my own.

"Was there always a door there? I realize there's a lot of hidden passageways that will only open to certain level of clearance but I was almost positive that the T&I department only had one entrance and exit for security purpose" I heard one of the Cat whispering, questioning an older Rabbit.

"No, you are correct. There is only one entrance and exit. I went to take a look at where the door appeared in the wall after it melded back into the wall and there is no latch or any hidden mechanism there, though, I only took a quick glance and might need to look at where the door appeared in the wall a little closer. I think it's one of Commander's hidden skills that we have yet to see. Though I shudder to think of what would happen if such a skill is applied to a living human." Rabbit answered, with all the wisdom of someone who has been in ANBU for 7 years.

I loudly began to talk to myself, "Wow! We entered through the normal entrance and just walked around a bit, but look at this! We must have inhaled something that gave us the ILLUSION that we entered through a door that doesn't exist. We ended up in the south wing due to hallucinating that we walked through a wall. We must head back to where we entered from, THAT NORMAL ENTRANCE. I mean, if we tell anyone that we walked through the wall, we might be punished, like say, a green jumpsuit with a dose of youth." I glared at everyone here, making sure that they get the hint I was literally throwing into their face.

"Yeah, that must have been some powerful hallucinogen or maybe even a genjutsu!" Rabbit, loyally, backed me up. As I heard the rest of the ANBU agree that we DIDN'T walk through a wall, I sighed in relief. I'm so glad there aren't ninjas too dumb to understand an unspoken command.

"What are you guys talking about? We totally walked through that door in the wall!" Tweedle Dum cried out.

And…. I spoke too soon. There are apparently some people dumb enough not to get the hint. Her codename is now just shortened to Dum AND it looks like I need to get a jumpsuit ready for her. Hmmm… what color should I make her wear….. I know. She was always hating the orange track suit that Sandaime made me wear, so orange jumpsuit, here we come. But first, to find Anko. Maybe she can knock some sense into her. It seemed to work this morning but apparently the lesson didn't stick.

I glanced at Sasuke, sending a pleading look for him to do SOMETHING with the screeching harpy before she adds to my paperwork. With a sigh, he turned to Dum and said, "Sakura, we walked through the entrance and someone put a genjutsu that made us think we walked through a wall. If you don't believe me, we can go back to the back of the 'Tea Station' exit someday and you can examine the piece of wall."

"Oh, okay Sasuke! If you say so, then it must be true!" squealed Dum, soon to be Dummy if she keeps this up. Her jumpsuit is going to bright orange WITH bright pink hearts all over, I vowed.

As I plot her wake up call, we made it to the hallway where Anko was waiting for us. I noticed that she was glowering at my Genins, so I turned to look at them, to see if there was anything wrong. Ah! Right! I had them wear a cloak to cover up their outfit. "Okay, Genins! Now that we're here, take off your cloak. Snake spent a lot of time putting them together, so let her enjoy her effort." I gestured for them to uncover their outfit.

Anko immediately perked up when she heard what I said. I guess, she thought I would steal her little piece of entertainment.

"Yes, my little precious," purred Anko, "show Mistress Anko how you look in those outfit. We must make sure you're dressed the part."

* * *

 **Dummy…. I mean Sakura's POV**

"Yes, my little precious," purred that sadistic snake mistress, "show Mistress Anko how you look in those outfit. We must make sure you're dressed the part."

Oh my god! I remember the words that Snake or, now that I know, Anko said, right before she took me to that Hell Forest with the Giant Snake. Anko has been hinting throughout the training that there was going to be an orgy tonight and that my sensei would make me join. What the hell is Naruto thinking! We're eleven for fuck sake!

Looking at Anko, who had her eyes opened halfway, I saw her looking at Naruto in excitement. That is so disgusting. I mean, she's twice our age and she wants to have sex with us?

I glanced over at Naruto but he only looked at me expectantly. Not willing to risk having his 20 guard dogs attack me for yelling or disrespecting him, I took off my cloak really reluctantly. I felt like such a whore wearing only a fishnet suit with bits of leather covering up the important part. I can feel my whole body turn red in embarrassment. Not even having Sasuke basically half naked, can make me look up from the ground.

Apparently, we met her approval and she gestured for us to join her, as she walked towards a double door with her name in huge letters.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Okay, I'm officially freaking out. She's already taking us to her bedroom! I'm not ready for this!

Anko opened the door and walked in, gesturing for us to follow.

I followed meekly to the door and looked in. What the…. It looks like a torture chamber.

There was a man in chains. A man that looked very familiar… is that Mizuki sensei?

Anko just casually walked over and kicked him hard. "Hey! I never said you could sleep!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MIZUKI SENSEI!?" I yelled

Anko just looked at me and ignored me completely, and did some hand signs and slammed it onto the floor, **-Kuchiyose no Jutsu-** and a bunch of snakes appeared and wrapped themselves around Mizuki.

Anko turned around and gave me a raised eyebrow. I remember the last time I saw her raise an eyebrow, it was right before she summoned the snake.

That's right. She can summon snakes…. *Shudder* I can still remember my time with them

 _Flashback_

 _*Flash* Naruto went back to wherever he was before I summoned him over. That useless so-called sensei, leaving me alone with a crazy lady that's hell bent on killing me._

 _Crazy Snake lady said "If you don't hurry up, Mary here will eat you! I've even gotten permission from your dear, dear sensei! HAHAHAHAHA"_

" _What!" I cried out! "Naruto will never approve of me being eaten by a snake! He likes me too much. He even said he loved me and wants to go out with me!" I retorted._

" _HAHAHAHA! You actually BELIEVED that horrible acting?!" she answered, while falling down on top of the snake, laughing her ass off._

" _What act!" I demeaned, while still running for my life, jumping over large tree roots and dodging branches in my way. Maybe if I run far enough, I can leave this forest and get back to the village. I can complain to the Hokage about Naruto kidnapping me and posing as my sensei. I've listened so far since my life was on the line but now I'm finally outside, I can escape._

" _HAHAHAHA! What act, she ask! Why the whole time that he was in the Academy. I mean WHY would a COMMANDER of the ANBU actually FAIL the easy graduation test, if not being ordered to by the Hokage himself. Think, you silly, empty-headed girl. You should be grateful that he's even taking time out of his schedule to actually TRAIN you. His work as the COMMANDER takes so much time already and now he has to train you guys! He only sleeps 1 hour a day. You ungrateful little wretch!" she shouted at me._

 _Then she called out to her snake, "Okay, Mary, I'm tired of this. Eat her. Maybe she'll rethink about why she wanted to be a shinobi if we give her some private time in your stomach."_

 _What! She was serious that Naruto is letting her let her snake eat me?! I looked behind only to see a giant mouth and fangs closing into my position, even as I try to run faster._

 _As the mouth came closer and swallowed me, I suddenly remembered what the crazy snake lady said._

 _I woke up in a strange, squashy place. The squashy room was about 5 feet by 5 feet._

 _*Cries* (anime-style) 'Why did I want to be a shinobi again?' I asked myself. At first I thought of Sasuke, oh the handsome ice-prince, but then I remember that I didn't even know about Sasuke before I entered the Academy. So why did I want to?_

 _Flashback within Flashback_

 _I suddenly remember the time when I wandered off when I was 4 or 5. I was in the forest right outside of Konoha. My family took us out for a picnic. I saw a butterfly and chased it but when I looked around after getting tired of chasing the butterfly, I noticed I couldn't see my family anymore._

 _The sky started to get dark. I was scared. Suddenly, I saw some movement in the bush. I turned and saw a wolf. It started to run to me, I knew I was dead but then suddenly a shinobi appeared. He looked to be my age but he dispatched the wolf easily._

 _He walked over to me to make sure I was okay. His blond hair was the only thing I could see with the moon right behind him. I asked who he was and the only answer he gave me was that he was a Jonin from Konaha that was tasked to find me. Finally the day caught up with me and with almost being killed, I finally fainted away._

 _When I woke up, I was back in my bed with my parents downstairs thanking my savior._

 _Flashback within Flashback Ends_

 _I sat in the stomach of the snake thinking of why I decided. How could I have forgotten the time when I almost died only to be saved by a shinobi of Konoha? How could I have forgotten waking up thinking to myself that I would do the same and save some people, just as he saved me._

 _I looked around. I am going to be a kunoichi! I'm not going to sit here and be digested by a snake! I started to attack the walls of what I'm starting to believe is the stomach of that damn snake, hoping that it'll give way._

 _Apparently, that was a bad idea since the room started to fill with goo. It started seeping in from the ground, the walls, and even the ceiling started to drip goo. Gross!_

 _Just as the goo raised to the height of my waist, I heard the crazy snake lady say, "Okay, you can let her out. Maybe she learned something while inside. Plus, the Commander wants his victims… I mean students back."_

 _With a *Poof* I reappeared. I wasn't in the forest anymore but back inside the ANBU headquarter._

" _Let's go. Your sensei wants you back" she said, completely nonchalant, as though she just didn't command a GIANT snake to eat me._

 _Flashback Ends_

*Shudder*

"Never mind. Please continue what you're doing." I quickly said,

Yes, I'm going to be as quiet as I can around her. No use in provoking her into having another snake eat me.

* * *

 **Sasuke POV**

"Yes, my little precious," purred that sadistic snake mistress, "show Mistress Anko how you look in those outfit. We must make sure you're dressed the part."

I looked down at my outfit underneath the cloak. Dress the part, eh? I had a leather pants and something made out of leather strips as a top. Is she talking about what I think she's talking about? I've read some of the books in the library, when I was trying to find some jutsu. Just remembering it makes me blush.

I quickly glanced at Naruto and remember this afternoon when he touched my thighs. Is this a continuation of it? I felt myself blush harder. I quickly tried to contain myself. And looked forward towards the lady who was dressed in a fishnet and had a black trench coat on.

As I saw the rest of the team remove their cloak, I also grabbed the edge of mine. Fighting back a blush, I removed my cloak. I can almost feel the glee coming from what I dub, the crazy lady.

I know that shinobi are expected to know how to seduce an enemy or even target but I didn't think we were going to be learning about it this early. I glanced over at Naruto. He doesn't even seem fazed at all. Maybe it won't be so bad, at least Naruto will be there. After seeing and hearing from him about the training, I know he'll at least make sure I'm about to be put back together, both mentally and physically. Plus, I wonder how I stack up to him. Hmmm

I walked towards the door that has the crazy lady's name on it. This must be her bedroom, though I do find it weird that there would be someone actually sleeping in the T&I department.

As she opens the door, I find that there was already someone there. He was chained up with his two hands pulled up as far as it could be without having to stand on his toes. There were also chains that were attached to his feet, holding him in place.

I gave another glance at the person and was surprised to find my old Academy sensei. The one that was always trying to get me to fight Naruto during our taijutsu class.

Suddenly, Anko just casually walked over and kicked him hard. "Hey! I never said you could sleep!"

Tweedle Dum shrieked out, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MIZUKI SENSEI!?"

With barely a glance at Tweedle Dum, Anko did some hand signs and slammed it onto the floor, **-Kuchiyose no Jutsu-** and a bunch of snakes appeared and wrapped around Mizuki.

With the appearance of the snakes, I can safely conclude that the night isn't going THAT way. I can't tell if I'm disappointed or relieved. I'll just go with it.

* * *

 **Naruto's POV (the normal one)**

"Yes, my little precious," purred that sadistic snake mistress, "show Mistress Anko how you look in those outfit. We must make sure you are dressed the part."

I rolled my eyes at her sadistic words. She just wanted to torture my poor Genins. I was actually surprised that Inu volunteered but then again, his outfit isn't THAT bad, at least compared to the Tweedle twins. I'm double glad I didn't have to. Especially since I'm here to mock Mizuki and not be mocked myself. And the fact that I have 20 of my puppies and kitties following me.

I glanced over at my Genins and I saw a couple of different emotions rolling through their face. Such an interesting sight. On Tweedle Dee I got a mixture of horror/shock/disgust/anticipation. On Tweedle Dum I got horror/shock/disgust/fear. Inu got something of humor/anticipation.

We arrived to Anko's personal torture chamber. How do I know that? Well she put her name up above the door with little hearts around it. The hearts are somewhat disturbing, but, eh, to each their own.

Suddenly, I heard Tweedle Dum shriek. Loudy. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MIZUKI SENSEI!" Ah, yes, that girl has a thing for authority. Then I heard Anko summon some of her snakes and then there was quiet. Huh. I wonder who the snakes were for. I quicken my pace just in case it was a poisonous one for my Dummy. Those were a pain to heal.

Oh, good. It was just to awaken our 'guest'. Show time!

"Hello, Mizuki _Sensei_!" I said cheerfully! "How has your stay been with one of my favorite subordinates?" I literally purred out. I could hear the rest of the guys come in.

"Your subordinate? HA! You demon child! Who would follow you. OWWW!" He said as one of the snakes bit him. A mild poison that causes hallucinations.

"Why, these behind me and my dear, dear snake. I have captured the ANBU's and put them under my spell. As you can see, they are very loyal and obedient" I hear a snicker from besides me. Apparently, Tweedle Dee caught onto what I was doing. Then again, it wasn't hard since I basically did the same to them. I turned to give him a quick warning glare.

I looked back at Mizuki and found pure horror in his face. "I-I k-k-knew you were a demon!" stuttered out Mizuki. Ah, sometimes being called a demon can be so stratifying

"Look here! Here are some of my new toys! And they're dressed so pretty." I said pointing to my Genins. "I even got the famous Copy-nin Kakashi!" I said proudly.

I leaned near his face and let a little of Kurama's chakra leak into my system, just to turn my face more feral and eyes red, and said, "You have no hopes of escaping now. It might be better if you tell us why you were trying to use me to get the forbidden scroll and use me as a scapegoat. Not to mention WHY you sabotaged my 'education'." I whispered in his ear. I felt him shiver beneath me. "Tell me, I'll give you a quick painless release." I coaxed him.

"N-N-No. I won't tell a demon anything!" Mizuki cried out, gaining some bravo from somewhere. Oh, well. More fun for me.

"If that's the case, break like good little doll for me. Thanks for the fun" I hissed out into his ears, so only he could hear me.

I pulled back away from him and rejoin the rest of my troops. I made some signs and 4 seals appeared around Mizuki, preventing him from hearing us and also had the convenient side effect of him losing chakra to charge the seal. "Here's a little information about Mizuki. He's a traitor to the Leaf and wanted to steal a forbidden scroll from the Hokage. He purposely sabotaged my 'education' during the Academy also but that's not as important." I heard growling behind me, my darling pups. I really need to get them out of that. But I digress. "While 'sparring' with me during taijutsu he purposely didn't hold back. I had to pretend to go to the imfirmary every time I had to face him instead of Iruka." Now, I heard hisses. My kitties! I really did name them aptly. Or maybe they're just going by my nicknames I gave them. Ah… it's the question of did the egg or chicken come first. "So, now we're here trying to find out WHY to first the forbidden scroll question. Who does he work for? How did he know WHERE it was? How did he know the way in? And so on and so forth. Then we can work on my personal questions."

"So!" I clapped my hands cheerfully, "Who wants to go first?"

To my surprise, Tweedle Dee raised his hands with Tweedle raising hers but saying she'll offer suggestions but won't join, yet.

"Alright! Tweedle Dee and his assistant Tweedle Dum shall go first!" I said in an announcement voice.

"Must you call us that in front of everybody?" Sasuke hissed at me. Awww. How adorable. He can soon be a kitty.

"Yup! It's actually registered as your code name so we shall have to use them. At least until you graduate from being Chicklets." I nodded sagely.

"Now, you don't HAVE to use physical force in torture. Mental is just as harsh. I already set up some of it. It's up to you whether or not you want to use it but just don't contradict it. Okay?" I asked, making sure that he understands.

"Yeah, yeah. Can I please hurt him now for the stuff he's done to you? Oh, and to the Leaf." He said the last part in an afterthought.

Huh? I only have them for one day and he's addicted to me?! What the hell!

"Um… sure. Go ahead." I said uncertainly, as I took off the seal.

"You know, since he went full power on Naruto, why don't we do something about those hands and feet of his?" Sakura suggested with a slight demented look on her face. He walked towards Mizuki with 4 kunai suddenly in his hands. Huh? Where'd he get those? I thought there were no pocket in that leather pants. Oh, whatever.

He suddenly pierced both Mizuki hands and both of his feet, sort of like a demented crucifix with nothing holding him up and step back. The screams rang through the air and stopped after a while, and the only sound you could hear was panting from Mizuki.

"Oh my. Are we panting? Is that pant from pant or pant for lust looking at us? I remember your eyes on me whenever you think I didn't notice." Sasuke said as he sashayed over to Mizuki. I could see Mizuki looking at him with eyes filled with lust, staring at his hips. EWWW! He's a pedo!

"Oh, look, Sasuke-kun, look at the way he's looking at you. It seems he DOES want more. He seems to like you so much that a certain part of him is reacting even though he's hurting. It seems to be growing, we better get rid of it." Sakura said innocently.

"You're right. Would you like to do the honors?" Sasuke said, not wanting to be the one to de-man someone, even if they deserve it.

"I'll do this one, just for you, just for the way he's looking at you." Said a possessive demon… I mean Sakura. And without a thought, she flicked a kunai at the sensitive area and screams fill the air like no tomorrow.

Oooh. Ouch. Every man could feel the pain but I could see some women smirking. The saying 'Hell hath no fury like a women scorn' can be applied to this.

I walked forward, not wanting him to bleed to death before we get the answer, and cauterized the wound with a fire ball. More wince. I turned to defend my action, "Hey! He would have bled to death if I didn't do that!" Ignoring the fact that it would have been more merciful to let him bleed to death.

"Hey! I have something to try! I overheard Rabbit wondering what if I use those seal I used on the wall, on a person and suddenly we have a volunteer!" I said in a childish voice. Those that had been with me before I was sent to Sandaime's punishment, shuddered. I was in my playful phrase. One that's guaranteed to be painful for the one who I set my sight on.

I quickly drew my seal on something that won't kill him immediately, a kidney. He has two so he'll survive for at least a month. The kidney popped out just like the door has, swinging on an invisible hinge. I quickly adjusted the seal so it'll pop out instead.

"Woah! I never thought it could be used like this!" I said holding the kidney. There was no blood leaking out of the hold where I took out the kidney, just a hole, and the kidney in my hands seems to still be functioning.

Curious, I took out a senbon and poked it. Mizuki screamed. Huh. It seems to still be attached to his nervous system and body. Hey….. I can literally hold his heart in my hands.

I quickly put his kidney down on a table next to us and did the same altered seal on where his heart should be and suddenly I have a beating heart in my hands.

Mizuki gave me a look of horror as he looked at his body and then at my hands.

"Look, Mizuki _sensei_! I have your heart. Literally!" I said in a happy tone.

I could feel the horror of the ANBU behind me. "You just had to open your mouth didn't you, Rabbit! Now, he has a new way to punish us!" Turtle berated Rabbit.

"Hey! How was I to know that would be the result! Plus he was so far away, I thought he couldn't hear me!" defended Rabbit.

"Aww. Don't worry so much. I won't do this to my cute puppies and kitties!" I said reassuring, and I heard a sigh of relief. Silly pups and kits. I continued, "Why would I need to do something like this for punishment when we could do something like a spar!" I said cheerfully. The whole group shudders. Wuss.

I turned back to Mizuki. "Now, Mizuki, would you want to tell me who sent you, before you lose some OTHER body part?" I said innocently, while squishing his heart in my hands as a warning.

"Orochimaru! He said if I can get the forbidden scroll I can join as a Jonin! He didn't say why! Please just give me my heart back!" He cried out desperately.

Humph, no fun. "Fine, here's your heart back." I said as I shoved it back in and took my seals away.

"Now, for the second part of this-" I began, only to be interrupted by the Hokage calling through my seal. He wants my whole team in his office soon. Apparently Sakura's mom heard about my kidnapping act and is complaining to the Hokage. Sigh.

"Alright, the stupid Old Man is calling so the rest of you can have a go at him and figure out why he was sabotaging me and if he did it to any other students. I have to take my Tweedles and Inu to his office" I told the rest of the ANBU.

"Alright, Tweedles that's enough fun. Let's go met the Old Man" I grumbled.

"Hey! I didn't have a turn!" Inu said. "So, come back later." I told him.

I turned to Anko and said, "You're in charge here. Just leave some for Inu."

I walked out of the room with my Genin following but looking back at the scene every once in a while. Who knew they were so bloodthirsty?

When all of us were in the hallway, I turned to them and said, "Okay, we're going to play a game of acting! Apparently, _someone's mother_ is complaining about her daughter's wellbeing," I began, looking directly at Sakura while she blushed, "so now we have to play a fun game."

"Now, since I can't be outed as the ANBU Commander, I'm going to play the genin while Inu here is going go as a sub for the 'Commander'." I told Inu, who looked up from his ever constant book, alarmed. "No complaining, go as Inu. You are to make sure she understands that she signed her rights away as a parent when Sakura became an official genin under a sensei. Just tell her that I've taken interest in these three and they're training to be ANBU. That'll satisfy her."

I turned to look sharply at Sakura, "And if you complain to your mom about your training and how you want to be pulled out, just remember at best you'll never be a ninja again, and at worst you'll become a missing-nin, depending on Sandaime's mood." I told her just so she doesn't have any funny ideas.

"I wasn't going to. While your training is harsh and crazy, I remember why I wanted to be a shinobi because of it" she said seriously. Oh good. Sending her to Anko did some good, though her fan-girl disease is still there.

I looked at Sasuke and he gave me a 'whatever' Hn. Okay so he's going along with it.

"Now, the only sentence you're allowed to say is 'I'm a shinobi now, I do as I'm commanded'." I told the Tweedles. "This way you won't accidentally leak any information"

I quickly took my trench coat from one of my seals and put it on. "Okay, I'll transport us to the office. Come here and touch my shoulders."

* * *

 **Hokage Tower – Hokage's Office**

We appeared in the Hokage's Office with a swirl of wind. I couldn't flash them since that's the Commander's signature way of moving around.

"Hey Jiji!" I said, quickly going back to my persona.

"Hello, Naruto. Hush now, we have a guest." The Hokage being quick to pick up on my plan.

"Inu, it's good to see you again. It's been awhile, hasn't it?" he said with a smile to Kakashi.

"Yes it has, Hokage-sama. I'm here in the Commander's place since he's busy with something else at the moment. I have brought his genins here as commanded" he said respectfully, since he was in his ANBU outfit.

"SAKURA! Are you okay? I heard you were kidnapped by Ino's mother and I was worried!" Mrs. Haruno shrieked. Now I knew where she got it from. Hopefully 6 month away from the original banshee might cure her, one can only hope.

Then Mrs. Haruno saw our outfit and screeched even louder, "WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!? GO CHANGE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

"I'm a shinobi now, I do as I'm commanded" Sakura said in a monotone voice.

I deadpanned. Great. With the monotone voice, her mother's going to accuse me of brainwashing her _precious_ daughter.

Her mother quickly turned to Inu and shrieked, "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!? WHY IS SHE ACTING LIKE THAT?! WHY IS SHE DRESSED LIKE THAT!? GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!"

"Ma'am, when you signed her up at the Academy you gave away your rights to her as a parents as soon as she became an official ninja. She is now under her Jonin's sensei's command. You should be grateful, the ANBU Commander has shown interest in your daughter and is training her. That is all I am to say." He turned back to Sandaime and asked, "Is that all? I must bring them back soon for they have an early day tomorrow."

I saw both Sakura and Sasuke grimace at that and smirked.

Apparently, Banshee saw that and shrieked, "What are you smirking about?! I don't know what such a distinguished person would want with you, demon!" Uh oh…. My ANBU's are still in their puppy phrase, this won't go well.

Suddenly there were the 6 ANBU that were hidden in the office and Inu's kunai is pointed at her vitals. Sigh. I saw Sakura giving me a pleading look and Sandaime just putting a hand to his face.

I silently gestured for them to go back to their places, and then they were gone as though they were never there, except for Inu who stayed. "If you say that one more time about him, I'll gut you where you stand." He said with a growl, and went back to his place.

The Sandaime looked at the Banshee and just said, "That could be considered breaking the law and you know the sentence. Now that you saw your daughter, please leave before I change my mind" I saw the Banshee go even paler and quickly dashed to the door and leave.

"You guys are dismissed. If you stay anymore I might get more paperwork." He said with a glare at me. Hehehe… I guess I better cure them out of the puppy stage. I'm guessing he hasn't been having much fun with the small pranks that my ANBU have been doing with his paperwork.

I quickly order them to touch my shoulder and we were gone with a flash.

"Okay, you guys are free to do what you wish as long as you're together. And for god sake TALK to each other and get to know each other. Now, shoo. I have to figure out a way to 'Cure' my ANBU of something." I said with an evil smile.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the late chapter again! After reading all the PM and reviews and getting such mix signals, I've decided to NOT really put in a pairing for Naruto. I want to concentrate on the humor and action more. Thanks for all the review though!**

 **BTW, Yes I stole the whole taking heart thing from One Piece (I don't own One Piece) I figure I should say that too. No crossover**

 **Sasuke is just going through puberty and is mixing up respect and gratefulness with what he think is a crush. Sakura is getting her fan-girlism beaten out of her eventually but in the meantime she's going to get some slight bashing.**

 **I'll be updating every other week or so due to work and my preference in having a longer chapter since I like to read long chapters myself.**


	7. Wack-a-Mole!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any, way, shape, or form. I also do not own the cover picture for this story. Picture belongs to username Rai_Shadow on GaiaOnline.**

* * *

 **Thanks to Serena24 for beta-ing!**

* * *

 **SUMMARY** **: At the young age of 3, our lovable protagonist, Naruto began his ninja career. With a natural genius mind that comes from his father, the Yondaime Hokage, and a seemingly unlimited amount of chakra from his mother, the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero, and Kurama, the Kyuubi, he flies through the ranks and was a Jonin at the age of 5. Personally recruited into the ANBU by his adopted grandfather, the Sandaime Hokage, he gains the mask of the he turns 6, he gets promoted to ANBU Captain due to his excellent record and the age of 8, he is promoted to the Commander of the ANBU, answering only to the Hokage himself. Despites having such an outstanding record, Naruto is still a young child with a perchance for mischief. When he takes a prank on the Hokage too far (at least according to the Sandaime), he gets punished and sent to the Academy as a student while retaining his position as the ANBU Commander. However, when his punishment ends, Kakashi, who was listed as a Jonin-sensei, pushed the ever patient Hokage a little too far with his tardiness and is demoted all the way back to being a Genin. Being the only person in which Kakashi will listen and won't be able to intimidate, Naruto is roped into being the Jonin-sensei of Team 7.**

* * *

 **Team 7's registry is now:**

 **Sensei** **:**

 **Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a Bloody Kitsune (ANBU Commandeer)**

 **Subordinate (Minions)** **:**

 **Uchiha Sasuke (Genin)**

 **Haruno Sakura (Genin)**

 **Hatake Kakashi (Written Rank: Genin / Real Rank: Elite Jonin)**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 7 – WHACK-A-MOLE**

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarter - Commander's Office**

I sat at my desk trying to think of a way to actually train my Chicklets. Inu doesn't really need to be trained as he i unin, even though he now has the rank of Genin. Even so, he is now MY Genin, which means I will do my duty of _training_ him. But what should I do ?

From what I can tell, his skills are still there, just rusty…. REALLY rusty, if the Kittens are able to subdue him, though I think he was just putting up a fight half heartily since he pretty much knew I would be summoning him. But STILL! The fight I saw when they went to subdue him was pathetic compared to what he used to be. And from what I sense, his reserves are down to about HALF of what it used to be. I guess I'll work on that first.

Sakura would need to work on her reserves but Sasuke already has a larger than normal reserve for a Genin. There would need to be chakra control too. Now, to do it the normal way or the hard way…... Eh, I'll decide that after I give my Puppies, Kitties, and Foals a wakeup call. Even though this exercise is mostly for the Puppies and Kitties, the Foals also need to get some training done. Plus it's almost 5 a.m., I need to pick up my Genins.

* * *

 **Hallway Outside of the Genin's Room**

I arrived about 15 minutes before they needed to be ready, still thinking about what I should do about training. I figure I'll let them decide. About 10 minutes before they needed to come out, I heard a shriek, and I smirked. That sounded like Sakura getting shocked. It seems that my warning wasn't taken seriously.

Now, what should my punishment to Sakura be. What she hates the most would be being away from Sasuke, but there's no way I'm separating them in the first month. The second thing she puts such emphasis on would be her looks. Oh, that just gave me a great idea. She get the tracksuit treatment without the Gai/Lee dose. Now, let's see…. what color do I have left. I used green for the Puppies, pink for the Kitties, and yellow for the Foals. Alright, my Chicklet's get to be Orange.

The only problem with that is that I just might need to bring sunglasses every time I see my Chicklets…..and a mask like Kakashi so they don't see me laughing.

With that problem out of the way, the tracksuit punishment actually gave me a great idea to what I should use to 'desensitize' them. From the looks I'm getting from the Hokage, I know that I'm going to get punished soon if I don't.

Well, nobody said that I can't do two things at once. I should train my Genins AND desensitize my ANBU. So without further ado, I sent out a message through my tattoo to every ANBU within Konoha informing them that, if they are not on duty, to report to the indoor Training Ground S in a hour and those on duty to report afterwards until midnight. With that done, I turned my attention back to the door.

Five minutes till 5 a.m, my Genin trooped out of their room. Good. I rather them be earlier, than late.

"Good morning everyone! How are you this wonderful day?" I said cheerfully. Grumbles met my greetings and question. "What was that? Please let us run 50 laps so we may wake up?"

"I mean, good morning, sensei." Sasuke immediately answered and then muttered to his teammates, "What's so good about the morning anyways? Why the hell is he so cheerful?" Which I ignored.

"Good morning, sensei." Sakura answered and then whispered back to Sasuke, "There's nothing good about the morning and he probably had 5 cups of coffee already, which would explain why he's so awake." Again, I ignored that.

"Good morning, Commander- _sensei_." smirked Kakashi. Ooooh, he's going to regret mocking me. He then turned to the rest of his teammates and told them, "No, he hasn't had any coffee. He's banned from them." He continued their little discussion as though I can't hear him. I felt a twitch in my eye.

First thing first though, I turned to Sakura and said, "Guess what my seal told me this morning? _Somebody_ was in the shower too long." I turned to the boys and said, "I guess you learned that you should always try to shower first, eh?"

"Anyways, since you DID take longer than the allotted 10 minutes….. Here's your punishment!" I said as I slapped on the seal that I had modified to a different color, onto her arms.

With a flash of color and poof of smoke, Sakura was standing in the hallway with an orange jumpsuit exactly like Gai's except for the color.

I can see the horror in Kakashi's eyes, as he no doubt is having flashback to the little training I gave them right before I had to go the the Academy.

Sakura was confused for a second, thinking that punishment was just a slap on the wrist, that was until the orange caught her attention. With a shriek, she rushed back into the bedroom and stood in front of the mirror.

I casually said, "Oh before I forget to mention, even if you do change, these clothes will appear back on after an hour, so don't bother. Plus, it is now 5 so we need to head to my office to figure out your training."

I saw her go pale and then red with anger. She rushed back out and made a move to attack me. Surprisingly, it was not Kakashi who restrained her, but Sasuke. Hmmmm…. Maybe I'll actually use his actual name when they aren't in the mask. I'll think about it. I mean, you have to reward them if they do something good right? At least that's what I read in the 'training your pet's' manual.

Shifting my attention back out, I told them to keep up as I took off in a very slow jog. Well, very slow for me at least.

When we got to my office, Inu was fine, but the other two were a little worse for wear. Sasuke was actually still with us but panting hard, while we had to wait for about 3 minutes before Sakura showed up, panting even harder.

When the final member of our team arrived, I opened my door and let them in.

* * *

 **ANBU Headquarter - Commander's Office**

When we all were inside the office, I closed the door and took them to an antechamber attached to my office. Usually this room is used so that the Hokage can listen to the report without letting people know of his presence, but for what I had in mind it was simply perfect.

When they all entered the chamber they looked around and noticed that there were dart boards all around wall. Each of the dart boards had different map pinned to the board. There was a table with dice on it and what looked to be a roulette table besides it. In the center of everything was a little pedestal with a coin on it. All in all, the room looked like a little gambling den.

I looked around to make sure everything was in place and then turned to my Genin. "You are to choose one person for each game and have one game only."

"Tweedle Dum, as people would say, ladies first. So, which game would you choose?" I asked Sakura.

She looked at the different games I have set out and chose the roulette table. I gesture for her to spin the wheel. She gave me a confused look but decided to go with it and spun the wheel.

It landed on blue. I took the card from under where the ball landed and it read, "Chakra Control". Okay, I was just thinking about that this morning so that works out.

I turned to Sasuke and raised an eyebrow at him. Giving him an impatient wave to tell him to go ahead, he walked towards the games.

He looked at the remaining two and the darts. Probably thinking how to show more of his skills. If only he knew what the darts are for. He took aim and hit the middle of the board, even though the map was on it. Oh, goodie, I can work with that.

I turn to Kakashi and without even my prompting, he walked over to the coin and flipped it. Heads. I can see him paling as a big grin spread across my face. As I turned towards the door, I saw him shot the coin a dirty look.

I walked back to my office and headed towards my table. As they came out of the room, I gesture to the chairs that rose of the seat. When they were all seated I turned my attention to them from the files I was going through on the table.

"Okay! I'm guessing you're a little confused of why I had you play some games. The game of roulette is to let me know what we're going to be working on until you master it to my satisfaction and then we spin it again. The dart game is where we're going to be heading to for our training trip. During the trip, we'll be performing all the missions I currently have from here to there." I absently told them as I flip through the mission files I have that isn't time sensitive, looking for all the ones that would be along the way.

I pointed to Kakashi and said, "What ' _won_ ' with the coin was whether or not we're going to do this the easy boring way or the fun way. By the way, he landed on the ' _fun_ ' way." I told the rest of the Genin with a grin. They turned to look at Kakashi and glared at him.

With a grin I herded them out my office and towards the Indoor Training Ground S where I had to start to set up their training ground and the training that I had in mind for the rest of the ANBU.

* * *

 **Indoor Training Ground S**

The Indoor Training Ground S was a large room about the 100m x 100m. Ignoring the couple of ANBU loitering around, I made a couple of clones and set them out to reinforce the ground, ceiling, and walls, the standard SOP for whenever I spar or train indoors.

I walked over to the corner and punched the ground lightly, making an indent in the ground about 7 feet deep. With that done, I went over to the corner and marked off an area that was taken by the small crater I made which was about 15m x 15m and made some trees come out.

I turned to my team and said, "So, since Tweedle Dum has chosen, we're going to be working on chakra control and chakra reserves or in other words, the efficiency you have with your chakra and your capacity. Now, you might be wondering why you would need to do such a thing if your reserve is large enough for you go do your ninjutsu."

I turned to Kakashi and ordered him to go over to the tree and climb it without his hands. Turning back to the Genin I saw that they were surprised as they watched Kakashi walk up the tree and stopped at around 10 feet above ground. I continued my lecture, "As you can see, with enough chakra control you can do that and much more. The more refined your control the more you can do. Think of your chakra as a weapon. Right now your chakra is like a club, it's not very efficient but it'll do the job of killing, even if you need to hit the person a few times. If you can refine your chakra control it'll be killing someone with a kunai. Refine it some more and it will be like a senbon, very precise and without the mess, so on and so forth. Are you following?" I asked the Genins.

When I got two nods, I continued, "Now, for chakra reserves, we're working on the amount of times you can do a jutsu without falling into chakra exhaustion. The reserve you have in your body is like a muscle, you have to work it out for it to grow. At the moment, Sasuke has an above normal reserve for a Genin and Sakura a below normal. This is normal since males usually have more. The downside in having more is that it'll be harder to control so don't be disappointed if Tweedle Dum gets the chakra control faster. It just means her reserves are lower making it easier to control."

Giving them a stern look or at least as stern as I can make my face, I told them "Don't get disheartened at how long it might take you to get this down or how long it might take for you to run up and down the tree 20 times before you get tired. Even now, I have to work on chakra control every day, so don't go on and think that as soon as you get this down, you can forget about it."

With the seriousness down, I gave them a large grin that had them suddenly on guard. "Since we're going to be training the _fun_ way today, I'm going to do a something a little extra." With that said, I turned around and did a Suiton jutsu to fill up the crater I made. I gesture for Kakashi to come back down from the tree and stand next to me.

"Now usually, you would just run up the tree and mark your place and then fall down. I don't quite agree with that since if you fall down you can always land and you'll be fine. So…. since the _fun_ way was chosen, I'll be adding some addition to this training. There will be a very low powered lighting jutsu running through the water so every time you fall, you'll get shocked. I promise you, you won't die from it." I said, very satisfied with myself in this new training method.

"Here's a hint in your exercise: Too much you get blown off, too little you slip off. Now get to it!" I told my Tweedles.

I threw three kunai at them, one by each feet and sent them off to their respective tree. "Start off with a run. It'll be easier to build up the momentum. When you're about to fall off the tree, mark it with the kunai. This way you can see your progress and figure out what you were doing wrong or right.

With that last piece of instruction, both my Tweedles grab the kunais and rush through the water and started to run towards the tree.

I turned Kakashi and asked, "So, Inu, any reason why you're not doing the exercise?" I asked Kakashi with a raised eyebrow.

"W-Wh-What?! Me too!? You're joking! But I KNOW how to climb tree without hands!" he yelled at me indignantly.

"That's nice," I began to say, "You know that but _I_ don't know that. Plus, if you don't do the exercise that tree" I gesture towards the remaining tree and we saw the tree wave back at us, "is going to be lonely. Now, you wouldn't want that, would you?"

Grumbling, he grabbed the kunai and walked on top of the water, towards the 'lonely' tree. He took a step up onto the tree and started to walk up the tree expecting it to be easy, since he had done it a million times before. On his fifth step, Kakashi lunched from the tree and landed in a heap by my feet.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, the tree that I made for you is… um, how do I say this, temperamental. Yes, yes….. it's a very temperamental tree. You'll have to vary your chakra to stick to it." I said cheerfully. "So…. Hop on to it!"

"Oh, yes. Before I forget another thing, the water below you _Genin_ is going to be slightly charged with electricity. So, my advice is, not to fall in." With that said, I made a lightening clone and had it sit in the water.

Now that that's set I turned towards the rest of my ANBU only to see them looking at me with puppy dog looks. Yeah, this training was long overdue. Let's see how much they would want me to be there ALL the time when this training was over.

"Now, for the rest of you. In the spirit of not wanting Konoha run over and me getting yelled at from the Hokage when I go take my Genins on a training trip," I began to tell my cute little subordinates, "I'm going to spend some _quality_ time with you." I said with an evil grin.

"Not to mention, I never want to have to deal with the T&I department being packed." I muttered under my breath.

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

 _I have just gotten back yesterday from 3 weeks on the road where I was checking on my spy network and spending time with my godfather. I was looking forward to a nice evening reading a book to unwind. Even the glares from the civilian's part of the village can't dampen my mood. The whispers that followed me was a little bit disheartening but I was just so happy to be home._

 _I quickly ducked into an alley and flashed over to my office. Settling down in my chair, I opened the book and was looking forward to an uneventful night._

 _Suddenly, I was summoned to the Hokage's office. With a sad glance towards my book, I put it down with a sigh and flashed over to the Hokage's office._

* * *

 _ **Hokage's Office**_

" _Hey, Jiji. You called?" I asked. "What's the matter? I've just gotten back from my trip so anything that happened couldn't have been me. You got the wrong person." I said with confidence._

" _So, the fact that the T &I department is so full that they have to put the 'prisoners' in the auditorium with number tickets so that the interrogators knows who to interrogate next has nothing to do with you, huh?" He said in a very, very sarcastic._

" _Huh? What are you talking about? I didn't even bring anyone back from my trip, much less a prisoner." I said baffled. "I have no clue what you're talking about."_

" _Currently, at least a quarter of the civilian's population is being held in the T &I department. I just got a complaint from the council saying that some of their wives are being held for 'looking at you wrong'." He said with an exasperated sigh._

" _Oh. Hehehe….. Oops?" I answered with a nervous laugh._

" _NO, 'Hehehe….Oops?'! STOP LAUGHING AND GO FIX IT!" he ordered, yelling at me. Oh, shit. He's mad as hell._

 _Not wanting to be in the same room with an overly tired and frustrated Hokage that has a twisted sense of humor, I quickly exited the office and flashed directly to the T &I Department._

* * *

 _ **T &I Department**_

 _I flashed into the head interrogator's office, who, at that time, was Inoichi Yamanaka and what awaited me was Inochi and a mountain of paper. I watched quietly as he seemed to be stressed out as to what to do. Sigh. I've been sighing a lot since I've got back._

" _Yo!" I said with false cheer, "I heard there's a problem here due to the other ANBUs, Owl."_

 _Without any warning from him, I was glomped. "Commander! You're here! Save me from this evil that has overcome my office!" He said with a tearful, pleading eyes. "As soon as I finish one, five more appear!"_

 _I looked around for anything suspicious and when I couldn't find any, I looked back at him and asked, "Um… what evil do you speak of?", as I absentmindedly petted his head to calm him down just as that book I found told me to._

 _With a vicious look behind him, he jabbed harshly at the mountain of paperwork piling up on his desk he said, "Those evil!"_

 _With a sweat drop I created 20 clones and ordered them to work. Still petting Owl's head I said, "There, there. See! With this they will be gone soon. Come, let's get you out of this horrid room to somewhere else." I said, as I guided a sobbing Owl out to the break room._

 _After he calmed down, I said, "Not that I wasn't going to see you, but I was ordered by the Hokage to do something about the T &I department overflowing . So…. Show me where you hid a quarter of the civilian population, seeing as I KNOW there's not enough cells here." _

_With a growl, he said, "Those BASTARD are damn lucky there's not enough room in the cells. I put the worst in the cells and the smallest offenders in the auditorium."_

" _Right then, to the auditorium we go!" I said with a cheer._

 _As I skipped down the hallway, I automatically pressed my seal and I could feel myself_ _changing into my 'Commander' gear and my permanent Henge changed my physical appearance._

 _Reaching our destination, I opened the door. Oh….the Hokage wasn't joking about a quarter of the civilian population being there. In fact, I think he underestimated my zealous ANBU._

 _When I walked through the door, everyone being detained turned and blanched when they saw me walk through. I guess my reputation as the Commander was reaching ears. I summoned Parrot over and told him to walk me through what each person was being charged with and was surprised that each one involves in some way some disrespect of my counterpart._

 _With a sigh, I walked up to the stage and asked in the silence of the room, "This applies only to those who don't have multiple charges", here I looked down at the scroll that had all the charges written on it, "let's see, 'Looking at another civilian with threat in mind'?" I looked down at the floor and saw that three quarter (¾) of them raised their bound hands up._

" _Right, those that raise their hands, go with Tabby Cat, I mean, Tiger there. Oh, and if you go and that's not the right charge or only charge, be warned that 'Attempting to resist' will be added to your charge and escorted back." I waved them over to Tiger who was standing by the door looking ready to pounce on them as soon as they got into range._

 _Activating the seal to speak with Tiger, I told him to just charge them 125 ryo. (About $10 USD) and to make sure that they leave the same way they were escorted here, blindfolded._

" _Next, which of you that are left that has the charge 'Speaking of threatening another civilian' with or without the before mentioned charge." I said with a bored monotone voice. One sixth (_ _1_ _/_ _6_ _) of the remaining of the 'prisoners' raised their hands. With a bored wave I summon the closest ANBU and said, "Leave with," with a glance I saw that it was Jackal that answered my wave, "Jackal here. The before mentioned warning applies."_

 _Turning to Jackal, "You know the drill, blindfold and all. Fee of 500 ryo (About $40) for just that infraction and if they also have the before mentioned infraction add the 125 ryo." With a nod he jumped down to the floor and walked over to a different door._

 _I looked down at the remaining twelfth and said, "The remaining of you guys are being charged with 'Attacking another civilian'. You will be given to the trainees for 5 minutes each along with a 1250 ryo fee as bail and a 500 ryo fee given to the civilian attacked, which is to be paid within the week. You will be going with Panther here." I motioned to my shadow as Panther walked out._

" _No weapons, killing blows, permanent disabilities, or basically anything that requires surgery. Charge them and blindfold them out" I said to him. With a nod, he dissolves into bugs and reappears by the doorway that leads to the training room and motions for the trainees to pick a victim._

 _The auditorium looks really large, now that the 'criminals' are gone. With a sigh I turned to the large group of ANBU's that still remains._

" _Is this going to be a frequent occurrence? Because, with the way you guys are acting now, I'm starting to think that the whole ANBU is PMSing. Anyone wants to explain to me what happened ?" I started say and I saw that the remaining ANBU started to shrink away from me in fear of my anger, "because I just found a great way to fund the ANBU!" They all fell down and sweat dropped with my last sentence._

" _Okay, pups! Back to work!"_

 _ **End Flashback**_

* * *

Rubbing my hands together in anticipation, I said, "It's been a long time since we actually spent any quality time, so for this special occasion, we're going to play this game I saw some kids playing during my month out of the village. The name of the game is 'Whack-a-Mole'." I said eagerly.

And then without any warning, I used the Doton: Headhunter Jutsu on a quarter of them.

"The goal of the game for the ones underground is to escape the Headhunter Jutsu before I whack you on the head with this." I unsealed a large balloon hammer that was twice my size. "On the hammer I have a seal that will put you into a costume that will be chosen randomly." I said with a grin.

"I will also continue to use the Headhunter Jutsu so I have more 'Moles" to whack. If more than 20% of you guys are without costume by the end of this game, which ends at the stroke of midnight, I'll give everyone a paid day off. " I said with a big smile.

"Oh, and before I forget to mention, the costume won't come off for two days so….." I said with an evil smile, "Let's begin!"

And with that, I took off towards the nearest 'Mole' and took a swing. My first poor victim was Lizard. When my hammer touched his head, his ANBU uniform turned into a mime's costume, complete with the face make-up and a seal to seal off any sound he might make. The transformation took less than a second and everyone stopped their movement to stare at poor Lizard with a look of horror, after a second there was a furry of movement as the rest of the ANBU split without a second glance at poor Lizard. Awww….. they don't like the costume I made for them.

I took off after the 'Moles' in the ground, as my clones underground worked overtime, with a manic laugh escaping my mouth, I chased my little 'Moles". I had several clones stationed around any exit with some of my summons to make sure that there's no escape. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

A/N: Sorry guys for taking so long to update. I got sick with Guillian Bares. It's where my immune system gets confused and decided to attack my nerves so I was sick in bed for a long time.


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